this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2024
661 points (98.1% liked)

Comic Strips

12866 readers
3838 users here now

Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.

The rules are simple:

Web of links

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 32 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] hark 4 points 11 hours ago

This is always the advice given by the "experts" during retirement "workshops". Have money and invest as much as you can into broad diversified funds. That the market will always grow in the long run because it has so far is taken as almost a guarantee, yet every one of these workshops will include a disclaimer of "Past performance is not indicative of future results". At some point I feel like there's going to a massive rug pull as the rich encourage everyone to put as much money as they can into the system so the rich can use it as exit liquidity. What's even better is that with retirement accounts, you're not allowed to pull out your money until decades into the future without massive penalties, and any changes in your allocations take at least a day to be made. Meanwhile the ultrawealthy have sub-millisecond algorithms at their disposal.

I'm sure when the great rug pull happens, every genius that espoused the common advice will come out and claim that obviously it wasn't sustainable (like the tech bubble or countless other bubbles) and repeat the magic words "Past performance is not indicative of future results", then they'll all suggest some other investment vehicle and that'll become the new common knowledge advice that everyone should follow until that also becomes unsustainable.

No thanks, I'll just do the company match for a guaranteed pay amount and enjoy the rest of my money while I'm young, instead of stashing it away and hoping it doesn't get fucked with in the decades before I can draw from it penalty-free and maybe having a decent chunk of money when I'm old and less capable of enjoying it.

[–] LouNeko 1 points 12 hours ago

I wish I had $10 to invest at the end of the month.

[–] ch00f 87 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Pretty dangerous for a vampire to invest in a market that's only open during the day.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] ours 6 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago

Witches have familiars, vampires have thralls—what do they even teach in school these days? /s

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (4 children)

There's a lot I'd be willing to do for somebody that made me 10 times stronger than the average man and functionally immortal without the weakness of immediately bursting into flames under sunlight.

But I don't think I would kill people for them or bring them victims to kill.

I guess I would not be a very good ghoul.

[–] toynbee 1 points 10 hours ago

You should watch Renfield.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 hours ago

In 2024, we call that a C level position.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

There's always CEOs

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But good ghouls get headpats!

That's the flavour of vampire mind control they never mention in the stories.

[–] whotookkarl 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ch00f 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Good time to invest in a cocaine producer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 15 hours ago

Like some professional investors are not breathing in more cocaine than air to trade 24h around the globe. The current gap is on weekends.

[–] Frozengyro 8 points 1 day ago

That's a very good estimate of what it would be worth today, assuming they average a modest 6.5% return rate.