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Because I'm a functional adult who can moderate myself and retain some professionalism?
Also, even if an employer is ass, stories of you making a scene will spread to other potentially better employers. There are no advantages to burning bridges, but the disadvantages can be many.
There are no advantages to burning professional bridges.
Otherwise I agree.
There is a large gap between "oh, thats right I forgot she worked here a few months ago" and "that bitch? I'm glad she's gone".
The latter of the two is more likely to say something negative about you to a future potential employer or coworker. And this gets more true the older you get, especially if you continue working in the same/adjacent field.
What's the point? To hurt/offend them? Be an adult and just move on without a fuss. It's you "brutally honest" folk who are the worst to work with IME.
There's a gap between "willing to be brutally honest when it's necessary" and "brutally honest in a whim because everyone should feel the same about things as I do." These types that love to tout just how "brutally honest" they are, tend to lean into the latter.
Most of us can be "brutally honest," when it's useful to do so. But often, it's just a red flag for someone who not only fails to recognize their own bias', but actively justifies those bias' as objectively true.
It shouldn't be hard to value positive relationships, even with less than stellar people, over smug self-satisfaction.
As a contractor I've worked with some real idiots and some really unpleasant bullies too, but I've never given them the proper "fuck you" when leaving. On one occasion I was able to go back to work for one of them when I was stuck for work during covid. On another occasion a referral came through one of them which led me to a 3 year contract of solid work.
So I don't burn my bridges, you never know when you'll need to cross one again.
Or to put it another way, you might not think of yourself as having a "network". But those bridges, like them or not, are your network. And they're worth more standing than burnt down.
As a manager, every exit interview where some one unloaded the way you just did… they weren’t brutally honest. They were just assholes with poor social skills.
You’re going out of your way to be mean and vindictive- and while your former coworkers may have been petty… so are you, and being “brutal” is you going out of your way to express it.
By the way, “happy” people shuffle around looking for better pay or more exciting opportunities too. Sorry you never found a place you can thrive at.
For my own sanity.
I want to look back knowing that they were in the wrong and I was as professional as I could be.
If it’s a bad workplace, I rather them just get consequences for their own actions instead of trying to make it more personal.
Also, your words don’t mean much at that point, you leaving hurts them waaay more than you telling them to fuck off on your way out.
Because people see your actions, not your worldview. E.g. a future employer who happens to know a former colleague.
-"Hey, you worked with Vestmoria, right? What are they like?" -"A bit stuck up and complainy, but we got along ok."
Alternatively:
-"Hey, you worked with Vestmoria, right? What are they like?" -"Complained a lot, caused a huge scene and left."
If everywhere you go smells like shit, check your shoes.
I'm surprised to see the act of putting conscious thought into maintaining positive relationships with others defined as "[playing] theatrics." There are far more theatrics and drama involved in making a point to talk shit and burn bridges in the guise of honesty than there are in simply turning the other cheek and moving on.
Even if you are correct, telling your would-be boss in an interview that your coworkers were petty and childish is an enormous red flag. Speak to the kind of behaviour that happened, not what you think about it, if you genuinely want to be honest. "I felt overworked as a result of my coworkers failing to meet the expectations put on them by management" is not the same as "my coworkers were lazy." One is a mixture of perspective and reasonably verifiable outcomes, while the other is a subjective value judgement. Spouting opinions and calling it "honesty" is not honest.
Everyone talks to everyone. I don't need a viper at my back.
You just never know what kind of connections an annoying soon-to-be-ex-coworker may have. Maybe you finally found a good mechanic…but they’re in the same bowling league as coworker you just told off. Maybe they’re best friends with someone wonderful you’ll meet in a few years. Etc, etc. Life is weird like that.
A brief catharsis, no matter how well deserved, isn’t worth the lasting negative impressions you’ll make. Remember the old saying: “success is the best revenge.” Build a good life for yourself. Then, if you happen to run into one those goons years down the road, you can talk about what you’re doing with pride. It will feel much better than any venting possibly could.
I don't understand why you would. It's extra work to burn a bridge. And what do you gain? Nothing. You just put in effort to lose a bridge.
People happy with their jobs don't go job hunting or interviewing. [...] Why pretend everything's sweet and dandy at the current workplace? It's ridiculous.
I've left multiple jobs mostly because I was bored with the work. I'm usually pretty vocal about it, and every manager I've had have been very understanding, some even putting in extra effort to help me find something more interesting within the company. There's no need to pretend that everything is fine, nor is there any need to throw a tantrum.
People happy with their jobs don't go job hunting or interviewing.
I've always done so every three to four years. Having options makes negotiating wage increase so much easier.
All risk, no reward.
I won't burn them theatrically but I'll let ones I don't particularly want to keep around quietly just fall into disuse. The bridge is still there but Id have no intention to reaching out across it any time soon. Once in a while people do change over time, sometimes they mellow out or realize they fucked up. A disused bridge is easier just easier to deal with than a burned bridge.
Good bridges aren't about pretending things are sweet and dandy, good bridges are honest communication and connection, burning them means passing people off on the other end and pissed people are more likely to retaliate. People who feel mostly neutral or a bit annoyed don't retaliate.
When you leave, wherever you're working be honest but professional. Say you felt your coworkers didn't value your time and work you did and at times their unprofessional behavior impacted your ability to work. Don't name names, don't finger point, but be honest with what dissatisfied you. If you have an at least neutral professional relationship with your manager maybe they could be a reference for future employers.
I have a friend who was my boss. He was, by all accounts, a mess of a micromanaging, push you until you drop kind of boss. He did personally more than any of us too, first in, last out, worked from home too. I personally just told him no, and did what I could reasonably accomplish, and didn't worry about his pushing. Always got good reviews, never got promoted but he did get me a big raise one year.
People still talk about him at work, but I still talk to him. He is an interesting person and a good friend just not a good boss - any boss should know most employees don't push back even if you tell them "tell me if it's too much"
OTOH, the witch of an HR lady, and the A/P manager who chewed his way through 3 entire staffs, they can burn in whatever hells they landed in.
I do it because it really frustrates the people who don't like you when you force them to shake your hand and look you in the eye.
This community isn't for asking people's opinions
You sound like an over achiever. Unless you own the company, you're just licking the boots of your master for nothing. Act your wage.