this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 94 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Remember Kids: Drugs are bad! Except for coffee, which lets you work harder and increases your employers profits.

[–] spankmonkey 41 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Also alcohol to cope with the stress!

[–] [email protected] 31 points 6 days ago

Irish up that coffee, and you can do both at once!

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I drink coffee for the joy of it, it doesn't increase my productivity.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

When was the last time you tried not drinking coffee for a week?

[–] Iheartcheese 14 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

Did it for 3 months once. That was hell

[–] architectonas 20 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

This is why I hate this stuff. I hate people joking about how much coffee they're drinking because they have so much work to do and don't get to sleep. Meanwhile, every coffee joke sounds like this to me.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

More than 400mg of caffeine a day can cause a host of health issues. Of course, because it's legalized and widely available, people discredit the risks.

Just like acetaminophen, which is responsible for 56,000 emergency department visits, 2,600 hospitalizations, and 500 deaths per year, according to the NIH.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 6 days ago (5 children)

I had to go to the company doctor years ago, it was mandatory when you just started working there.

One of the questions was how much coffee I consume each day.

"1 on some days 2" I answered.

He goes off by saying that's great, 2 cups is the max you should drink each day because if you get too much caffeine in your system it builds to much pressure on your muscles or nerves, I don't remember.

After that, we looked at each other in silence for a good 10 or 15 seconds before I began stammering: "cu... cups?? No, no. I meant 1 or 2 pots a day...."

He had mini meltdown and went off on me how bad that was for my body.

[–] finitebanjo 17 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Arteries* - the big main pipes for blood that gets tapped leading into all your veins in all your limbs and organs

Caffeine increases heartrate similarly to exercise but unlike exercise your arteries don't open up for caffeine. So you're increasing flow but the pipes can't handle it all, meaning the heart has to PUSH HARDER and eventually this will lead to severe fatigue and heart failure. If you have additional risk factors like a high cholesterol diet (lots of meat) or are overweight then the arteries themselves can also become clogged and fail.

[–] AA5B 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

I find it scary that I’ve never had a doctor bring any part of this up

[–] finitebanjo 14 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

It's one of those things where its a very normal slow death over the course of decades, less harmful than smoking or alcohol, so it often gets brushed off as low priority. The real issue isn't even coffee, imo, but people who take 400mg caffeine energy drinks daily or even multiple times per day.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

That's probably because it's massively overblown. Drinking just a few cups of coffee a day is perfectly fine. Energy drinks are the devil's urine tho.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] finitebanjo 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah I was just explaining what the doctor would have said, since you seemed confused about "muscles or nerves".

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

Much appreciated to take the time to do that. My story and your explanation can educate someone that comes across it.

Stay awesome dude.

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[–] Glitterbomb 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You can avoid this type of confusion if you just get a bigger cup

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

I only drink 1 cup a day, but the cup is 300ml (~10 fl oz) and it's espresso.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Fortunately, you didn't said the pot is one gallon.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago

My dude heard the glass break when you said pots. Went full hunter from l4d2

1000017286

[–] ivanafterall 26 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Does coffee make your testicles swell and float like frame 3?

[–] ODuffer 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

And I hope y'all know they're knees and are just being silly on the Internet

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

The order of my understanding was, "wtf are those, ah swollen testicles of course," and finally, "oh, knees"

[–] AA5B 7 points 6 days ago

Might be worth trying

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[–] Psythik 12 points 5 days ago (15 children)

Caffeine has got to be among the shittiest drugs to get addicted to. There's no euphoria; you just get anxiety and can't sit still. And then in a couple of hours you get tired and want to go to sleep.

I just don't understand how people get addicted to the stuff. Even when I needed to drink it for my job, the moment I quit that place was the same moment I quit drinking coffee. It's simply not a fun drug at all. There are much better stimulants out there.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Allow me to introduce you to NICOTINE.

No euphoria, also gives you anxiety, makes you stink, discolors your teeth, hair and nails, and slowly kills you.

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[–] m3t00 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

get tired and want ~~to go to sleep. ~~

more coffee

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago (2 children)

"How many ~~hot dogs~~ cups of coffee do you ~~eat~~ drink on a daily basis?"

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Why does he ask? I'm not seeing the problem.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (2 children)

All the acidity breaks down your tooth enamel of course

[–] edgemaster72 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Not that this doctor would do anything about teeth, those are luxury bones, he doesn't work on those, just everything else

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[–] Crazyslinkz 9 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Is half a pot of black coffee too much?

[–] Iheartcheese 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

How many are you drinking per hour

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Where do i get that cannon?

[–] hakunawazo 17 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Best I can do:

But you get no coffee money shot by singing.

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[–] lowleveldata 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Droggelbecher 7 points 6 days ago (8 children)

I have a friend who pretty much drinks nothing but tea. No water, coffee, alcohol, soft drinks etc. And he does get his 2-3 litres of fluids per day in like that.

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