I touched grass, give me my fucking dopamine. We had a deal!
this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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Mental health recovery journey in a nutshell: don’t do what you want, do what your brain needs. Some day you will actually want that thing AND it will still help your brain! What? Didn’t you read the brain manual?
(Assistant leans in) “sir, we never figured out how to do those brain manuals”
…well good luck. Oh and you’ll want to find the right medication to give you a fighting chance. That should only take a couple years.
And then you melt down because you're very, very, very sorry and you know it's not a big deal but your brain is making you grovel and beg for forgiveness and you're sorry for acting like this and it's weirding everyone out and now you're sorry about that too, and now all your friends have run away and you're alone and sorry you made them run away.
Hey. Get the fuck out of my head.
Heh, if it sounds suspiciously specific it's because I went through that recently. I'm doing better now tho!
First 30 years of my life were like this. Now I categorically don't give a fuck about much.
Be inconvenienced, bitch lol
Well maybe that's why I ran out of my exercise class tearing up because I bumped into another person. And leaving abruptly made everything 100xs worse. Which I know it really didn't. But also yes I looked insane and that person is right to hate me now. So now I can never exercise there again just to be safe.
This is me every single time I have gotten a job rejection email since the election. Every single time.
"You suck and no one will ever hire you and you will be stuck in this country and watch people get marched into camps."
I haven't even started applying yet but this is how I've felt and thought too.
It feels like all I do is apply. And then notice something about my CV or the cover letter that I just sent and realize it could have been better and then say, "well fuck, I'm not going to get that job, am I?"
The unique trait of neurodivergent people is that they think about their brain as a separate entity
Everyone does that…?
It is just that neurotypicals are still living in the matrix
we have a love/hate relationship
Whoever separates matter and arrangement, hardware and software.
Lizard brain ruined the mind's day.
It kinda is, isn't it?
It just raises interesting questions about our consciousness if we can kinda observe from "outside" our brain's behaviour
You're pretty close to the yoga concept of a witness that observes the mind https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sakshi_(witness)
Sounds like disassociation.
TIL I might be neurodivergent 😅
Other people don't? It is a separate entity in many ways, from my understanding there are portions of the brain that react much more like an organ than what we perceive as our "consciousness.". I was actually taught to separate myself from my brain the "organ" and how it responds to situations differently than I would prefer haha
Me: YOU ARE BEING COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE! Brain: I KNOW, AND I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD BECAUSE OF IT
🫠
And one day, brain did shut up for good and started to follow reason's evaluations of these kind of situations. And I hope it will happen to those needing this.
How can one learn this power?
For me it was a strange and unintended cocktail of the lowest point of a depression (crisis state and constant dissociation), quitting an addiction and reading a book and declaring it was my new existential guideline. It was a philosophy book. Spinoza's ethics.
Recipies may vary to suit different tastes.
For me it was finding people who cared about me, which gave me the self-esteem to ignore bullies (including the bully-informed “voice” in my head)
All the random bold words make this physically painful to read.
I'm so sorry.
There's so many it had me second guessing whether they were actually bold or my eyes were fucking with me
Agreed. I found it incredibly distracting. Overall still a good post.
Why is it trendy to bold random words in text now? Just for emphasis?
Absolutely excessive but it appears they at least used it mostly correctly to emphasize key areas.
Go look at any Tumblr blog post screenshot for like a decade ago. This isn't new.
Man this hits close. It's a long battle but that voice does go away with age and effort.
Fuck that brain guy, you don't need his drugs.
Ooph...
RSD my behated
Daily
True
"mentally ill" 🤢🤮