this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 138 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I hate that moment when your lungs shut down at night.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

And my sword!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Maggoty 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There's two kinds. In one you snore. In the other your body just forgets to breathe.

Get checked for sleep apnea.

[–] Dr_Box 45 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I've mastered the art of going to the bathroom to piss without fully waking myself up

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago

Bedwetting?

[–] devfuuu 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Hopefully not literally

[–] janonymous 2 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I don't wake up at all. 2/10, would not recommend. 3/10 with rice

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Keep your eyes open only enough to not bump into stuff. Close when not needed

[–] HKPiax 15 points 2 months ago

He calls his bed “bathroom” and just pisses himself

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Use a bottle (don't do this).

[–] LordKitsuna 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The solution is to stop drinking any liquids like 4 hours before bed and pee right before bed. That way you can just become dehydrated overnight which means that when you wake up you will want water desperately which will help you get your ass out of bed too

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Liquids aren't even the issue. Salt is. Every time I gorge myself on some smoked salmon before bedtime I inevitably wake up in the middle of the night. Apparently getting rid of some salt is somehow now important than a good night's sleep. My bladder isn't going to corrode just because I have slightly more salt in it. Let me fucking sleep!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Your entire nervous and vascular system reading this be like am I a joke to you

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 1 points 2 months ago

Condom catheters, my dude. It's a catheter you don't have to insert. Just gotta get used to pissing the bed again.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (5 children)

My bed shares a wall with the toilet. I’ve been debating routing the plumbing in to the closet and installing a urinal.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Urinal in the toilet or bedroom? In case you wanna Min Max it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

The toilet and shower are opposite my closet wall. I’d really only need a drain and a bottle of water to wash it down. I’d turn half my closet in to a washroom I guess.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Does it share a wall with the tub? Just put a little piss slot in the wall. Cheaper.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No tub, but the shower yes. I could just run the pipe through the wall to the toilet tank… save money refilling that thing too!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pipe? What pipe? I said piss slot I meant piss slot

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Piss pipe, bro. Get on board!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 1 points 2 months ago

That sounds like something I should hook up next to my bum hose.

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In 2 points 2 months ago

Use the window

[–] Psythik 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but that doesn't fix the problem of having to out of bed. Once I do that, there's no going back to sleep. I'm up for the rest of the day, too tired to accomplish anything.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

It saves me from having to walk all the way around and bang my knee on the coffee table or whatever

[–] surewhynotlem 1 points 2 months ago

Catheter required less plumbing and is only moderately more gross

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

That's me every single night

[–] Num10ck 7 points 2 months ago (5 children)

stop having liquids 3 hours before bedtime.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] Pantsofmagic 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can't tell me what to do!

[–] WR5 6 points 2 months ago

You should be fine as long as you wear those magical pants to sleep in as well.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Pssshh, then how would I drink myself to sleep.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

What if Im thirsty?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 3 points 2 months ago

After I wake up and take my nightly midnight turd sesh (all y'all lucky piss losers) I drink about as much water as I pissed away. What's the point of having a fancy water bottle if you don't use it and keep it full of ice water 24/7

[–] Pacmanlives 4 points 2 months ago

It’s called a catheter! Does not everyone use one every night!?!??!? /s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Body: you're so thirsty. dehydrated. tongue sticking to your mouth, so thiiiiirsty. go pee eight times before falling asleep and evacuate every fluid ounce of fucking water in your body for no reason thiiiiiiirsty