this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2024
490 points (98.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 23 comments
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[–] [email protected] 137 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] uber_chicken 64 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He's the type to down fistfuls of Viagra. Hey, maybe we'll get lucky and he'll overdose and his cock will explode.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've heard of old men married to much younger women dying from sex taxing their hearts too much, so that is more likely than you think.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He’ll need a presidential mistress. Melania already gave him a son, you know she doesn’t let him touch her anymore.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Or he could pay off a pornstar again.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Apparently he stinks too high heavens. Gotta pay a lot.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 36 points 1 month ago

I'm looking forward to a constant stream of news about ~~tweets~~ xcrements

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Nice lady shockingly flaccid

[–] [email protected] 113 points 1 month ago (1 children)

On a semi-related note, a friend of a friend got to know a Japanese woman through a mutual friend group, and apparently after finding out that he had some decent culinary skills she texted him "I want to taste your cook".

[–] bruhduh 64 points 1 month ago
[–] ogeist 42 points 1 month ago

Orange man is back to terrorize us all

[–] slaacaa 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Introducing the brand new Amazon Originals animated series:

The Orange Man and the Nice Lady

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 4 points 1 month ago

Wow that's exactly what they would look like! Good luck to them with their erection!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Andrew Santino and Bobby Mom.

[–] aeronmelon 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jerry Lewis: “All the voting, and the screaming of the orange man, and THE NICE LADYYY!”

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

May he rest in peace.

Wait. Brain immediately went Gilbert Gottfried with the all caps nice lady. Ah well, may they both rest in peace.

[–] fiveze 18 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

"Oh you know, how it always ends, feelings of self loathing and despair."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

ちがう - Isn't it? / Wasn't it?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

It's the verb meaning to be wrong, so, contextually, I think the person made the classic l/r switch mistake, saw the reaction, and asked if what they wrote was incorrect.

[–] SkunkWorkz 4 points 1 month ago

I have elections evely day