My favorite, since I'm not a programmer anymore, is excel
E: Your formula has a circular reference. I ain't doing shit till you fix it
Me: where?
E: In your spreadsheet, I don't fucking know
this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2023
1052 points (98.2% liked)
Programmer Humor
18292 readers
1283 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Excel: taking ages to load a file
Excel: There is a link to another Excel document, but I can't access it to update the value.
Me: Where?
Excel: To this document.
Me: ... Where can I find the cell that contains this link?
Excel: I don't know noises
Me: What if it is a named variable?
Excel: Yes.
load more comments
(1 replies)
It’s ok, you run the expression debugger, which says the first step, which is all of the formula, will result in an error. So helpful.
Sounds like Rust propaganda to me >:(
Tbf, you have to be pretty far with Rust to get to a point where Rust's compiler errors stop helping you (at least, as far as I've seen). After that, it's pretty much the same
Yep use a little bit more deeply cascaded generic rust code with a lot of fancy trait-bounds and error messages will explode and be similar as C++ (though to be fair they are still likely way more helpful than C++ template based error messages). Really hope that the compiler/error devs will improve in this area
Rust has better runtime errors, too. If you run a dev build, it should pretty much never segfault unless you use unsafe and will instead tell you what went wrong and where, no valgrind necessary.
load more comments
(2 replies)
MySQL: you have an error near here.
Me: What's the error?
MySQL: It's near here.
Me: You're not going to tell me what the error is? Okay, near where? Here?
MySQL: warmer... warmer...
Oracle: You have this error in line 1
User: Hey, no, there isn't anything to cause this error in line 1
Oracle: I'm telling you, it's in line 1
User: Hum... How many lines are in my 10 lines query?
Oracle: 1
MySQL: you have an error around here
Me: that's the entire query. If you aren't going to tell me what the error is, can you at least narrow it down?
MySQL: ... Stfu
Ah yes, SQL and their games.
Then there's Haskell that would remove (well, used to at some point) your source code file if you made any errors: https://gitlab.haskell.org/ghc/ghc/-/issues/163
The world's angriest compiler.
So that's what inspired Vigil...
Reading their page gave me a good laugh. Didn't know about this before, and I'm glad to have learned about its existence
load more comments
(1 replies)
When the compiler is being more helpful than you realize.
That's actually hilarious
C just shrugs and says "Seg Fault."
Have you tried segmenting in a non-faulty way?
Probably forgot a semicolon
This joke is never funny; Forgetting a semicolon in c results in compile time errors, not runtime errors
"Shit happenned!"
The range those words induce is crazy
Haskell errors:
Iä! Iä! Cthulhu (b -> (a -> c)) -> (b -> (c -> c)) -> a fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah [[a]] Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
[45 lines of scopes]
Once you understand the type system really well and know which 90% of the error information to discard it's not so bad, I guess.
What about the fact it invades your dreams and slowly drives you insane?
I literally had a type-theory themed stress dream a couple nights ago. I'll leave it up to you if that makes this less or more funny.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Yeah, but which one i cooler?
Rust because having a package manager is important.
Even C has a package manager
Well at least C++ definitely is far away from cool, you can imagine the rest...
load more comments
(2 replies)
Rust is nice, unless you have a traits compilation error from a 3rd party library using types that are more difficult to write than C++ templates.
yeah as nice as it is what you can achieve with trait-bounds there are definitely trade-offs, being compile time and error messages, and sometimes mental complexity, understanding what the trait-bounds exactly mean... I really hope, that this area gets improvement on at least the error-messages and compile time (incremental cached type-checking via something like salsa)
load more comments
(2 replies)
Clearly, you haven't gcc & gdb...
I love gcc but it can't make nested template errors any less horrifying
load more comments
(6 replies)
Way too short to be a real C++ error. Needs a few more pages of template gibberish.
Template<Instatiation::_1,_2,_3, Instatiation2::_1, _2<closure::wrapped<_1[map::closure_inner]>>, Outer<Inner<Wrapper>>>::static_wrapper<std::map, spirit::parser::lever<int, std::array>::fuck_you
load more comments
(1 replies)
Syntax error: unmatched thing in thing from std::nonstd::__map<_Cyrillic, _$$$dollars>const basic_string< epic_mystery,mongoose_traits<char>, __default_alloc_<casual_Fridays = maybe>>
(from James Mickens' The Night Watch, highly recommended with his other essays: https://mickens.seas.harvard.edu/wisdom-james-mickens)
I like how this depicts how rust is designed more top down and C++ is designed bottom up.
How compiler builders see peppa:
https://www.deviantart.com/ian-exe/art/Peppa-pig-front-face-743773121
I think these two pigs are the best comparison of rust and c++ I've ever seen. Also considering the aesthetics, it's so accurate.
How compiler builders see peppa:
even number of nostrils
Missed opportunity.
LISP be like: "There is an error here in this wierd code I just generated and which you never saw before. Wanna hotfix it and try again?"
Ever tried using typenum numerals in Rust? 😅
Try it and see the errors with something like typenum::U500.
Or deeply cascaded generic code with a lot of trait-bounds...
Clojure: hold my beer
"Fuck you ... or not. One day ... or two ... or every day. For certain, when you least expect it"
(C++ errors involving memory pointers)
view more: next ›