this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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    [–] [email protected] 83 points 2 months ago (2 children)
    [–] InverseParallax 28 points 2 months ago

    Bdsm, but real careful about the safe word.

    Gentoo: no limits.

    [–] Mango 11 points 2 months ago
    [–] [email protected] 60 points 2 months ago (7 children)

    Anal (Ubuntu)

    Because at this point, if you're still on it you're taking it up the ass from Canonical

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    [–] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

    Debian is a full day of romantic walks on the beach, fine dining, dancing, and taking in a romantic comedy, followed by easy quick familiar sex and then falling asleep in front of an episode of cozy reality television.

    (It can become anything I imagine, but the defaults are just so comfortable...)

    [–] InverseParallax 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    Man I've gotten old, gotten stuck in debian with lxc containers (Ubuntu for work, arch for fun) underneath.

    Warm and loving on the outside, kinky as fuck behind closed doors.

    [–] AnarchistsForKamala 4 points 2 months ago
    [–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)
    [–] richardisaguy 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)
    [–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    What would Linux from Scratch be then?

    [–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

    BDSM with a lot of pegging.

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    [–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

    Gentoo is busting instantly and waiting 6 months for the Baby to compile

    [–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

    You buy the partner flatpack from ikea and compile the nervous system. Because you added all modules for the complete experience, they open their eyes and flee from your house.

    [–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago

    Cowgirl.

    She came prepared, she took control and told me this was a hands off experience. I didn’t need to do anything myself. I just had sex and it was cool.

    Bazzite (or any other immutable distro)

    [–] TheDemonBuer 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

    Fedora, so missionary position, but the lights are on and we're on top of the covers.

    [–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

    That's perfect. And I heard it's not a sin outside of marriage as long as SELinux is enabled...

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    [–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago

    i'm a linux user do i look like i have sex

    [–] Siegfried 26 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    Debian, no-sex is safe sex

    [–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago

    NixOS just sits on your face. All the stuff in front of you is awesome. Though you might suffocate at any moment given the options. Oh and sticking your nose too deep into things might get you a broken nose.

    [–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

    Kubuntu is like wearing a condom because you have to

    (it's the only thing that consistently boots on my weird Samsung laptop. everything else intermittently boot loops...)

    [–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

    Abstinence, most likely

    [–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

    Cowgirl (because hat because Fedora)

    [–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

    This comment might actually make me try Fedora 🤔.

    Proof that the distro of choice has nothing to do with actually being as close as possible to your wants and needs, but rather of how cool it sounds... in your mind at least.

    [–] CarbonatedPastaSauce 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Wrong group of people to try to get a Cosmo article out of.

    [–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

    Cosmo? Isn't that Pop_OS's new DE coming out? :D

    [–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
    [–] CarbonatedPastaSauce 21 points 2 months ago

    Cosmopolitan magazine.

    Infamous for being filled with garbage sex articles to further screw up women’s self esteem.

    [–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

    NixOS, probably some extreme bondage

    Arch, masturbation

    [–] InverseParallax 17 points 2 months ago

    Nix is a brothel.

    Just order off the menu.

    [–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

    Raspberry pi os, its like sex but with more lego

    [–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)
    [–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
    [–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

    Puppy Linux

    [–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    Missionary but with a bunch of kinky German bondage equipment.

    [–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (4 children)
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    [–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
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    [–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

    Slackware is a bearded old man trying to get it up, holding a picture of Lilo.

    [–] AA5B 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

    Glory Hole

    Raspberry Pi OS is sticking your hardware through a small hole into what a full Linux distribution would feel like, given sufficient imagination

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    [–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Me-Butt-U (Ubuntu) … ok , I’ll show myself out

    [–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

    ….. the BACK DOOR haaaa 🤪

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    [–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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    [–] stupidcasey 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

    Deepin Bodhi, Lubuntu Manjaro,

    Arch,

    Arch,

    Arch,

    [–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

    Hahahah what the hell

    [–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
    [–] Starb3an 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

    I use mint and I was thinking a dry handjob

    [–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

    In any case, it's something boring and familiar.

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