this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
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[–] TommySoda 126 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Losing weight is not an easy thing to do if you've been overweight most of your life. You literally have to fundamentally change everything about your life just to get it done. And it's a slow process and a commitment that you have to stick to for months or even years. It can really fuck with your motivation when the progress is so slow you could go months and only lose like 10 pounds. I only went from 250 to about 150 but it was one of the hardest things I've done and I've quit smoking.

[–] shalafi 28 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

It's like gaining muscle, enough to show in the mirror, to yourself. Yes, it's a process. Yes, it takes time. No one got fat overnight.

Drop the drinks, nothing with calories. Stop munching constantly, eat meals 3 times a day, not a single calorie inbetween. Anyone can start this way.

Working out? Won't help a bit, loss starts when one quits with the mouth intake. Exercise can cause problems by making you hungry! (You have to do it anyway for 100 other reasons.)

Dad was fat as fuck. Looked like he swallowed a cannonball when I met him. Later, he dropped it all. He had run into his bf after many years. Man was trim. "How did you do that?!"

"I just brainwashed myself into believing feeling hungry was good."

Yeah. That easy folks. Convince yourself that "hungry" is OK, a normal feeling. Worked for me.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

IME, after getting used to hunger, it usually just goes away (although I have a hard time differentiating feeling hungry and sleepy - getting regular sleep helps me not overeat from mistaking the two). Getting use to it can be annoying, but it doesn't take that long. Personally prefer just eating once a day and think exercise can help a fair bit. Doesn't matter if it makes you feel hungrier if you already just fill your belly with relatively low-calorie-density foods and stop when it doesn't comfortably hold more. For some reason some exercises make me feel hungrier, others sometimes make me less interested in eating. Maybe its a timing thing; if its close enough to bed time, exercising til I'm exhausted and have like a 3K calorie deficit for the day makes me just want to sleep rather than cook (in this case, the not being able to tell the difference between hunger and sleep may mean I interpret it as sleepy at night).

[–] DillyDaily 5 points 2 months ago

Learning that the intensity of your hunger sensation is not related to how much you need to eat to satisfy the hunger, but rather, how soon you need to address the hunger, is what changed the game for me.

Instead of responding to feeling ravenous by getting in the kitchen cooking a big meal and sitting down to eat, 40 minutes after I felt hungry, eating easily 2-3 portions, and justifying it with "well I haven't eaten all day".

Now I have an orange or something the second I start to feel that intense hunger, go distract myself, and then 20 minutes later I can think clearly, without food noise and intense hunger to cause me to pile crap onto my plate. So now I can plan a well portioned meal that fits within my goals.

But I think part of that is that I have poor interoception, I never felt hungry unless I was already ravenous. Learning to identify hunger before it turns into "eat everything in sight" is something I need to do. I'm still not very good at it, but I'm better. (for context with my interoception, I also can't tell when I need to pee, or when I'm tired, or when I'm too hot or cold. I'll just randomly feel shooting pain in my hand, look down and notice my fingers are turning blue, then remember to put a jacket on)

I don't like feeling over-hungry because it gives me migraines and I get really nauseous and end up dry wretching when I know what I need is calories. Hence why in the past if I started to feel hungry I'd overeat to really try and nip that sensation in the bud. I failed at diets in the past because I assumed that you were supposed to be constantly hungry, and for me hungry is painful, so I'd give up on diets pretty quickly.

So I personally need to stay on top of my hunger to stay on track with my calorie intake.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I disagree with the 3 meals a day thing. Find the right amount of meals that works for you and adjust the calories of each meal.

Different eating habit for different people and lives.

But you are right that you need to become accustomed to be hungry so that you can learn what your real hungry signal is, so that you can hijack the false hungry signals.

[–] DillyDaily 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I always think about it this way; I was a fat baby, fat toddler, fat kid, fat teen, and fat young adult, I spent 25 years learning how to be an obese fuck. I was a master at it.

Why should I expect myself to be even halfway competent at being a healthy person after just 1-2 years of practicing those skills.

The goal isn't to be healthy tomorrow, it's to take steps every day to learn to be a person who has naturally healthy habits, and grow into being that person for the rest of my life. If that takes 10 years to be able to say "this is who I am now, not a fat fuck" then it takes 10 years, and that's still a faster learning curve than the 25 years I spent obese.

Though I will shout out "the paper towel effect", the first 25-30kg I didn't really see a difference, nor did anyone around me, but every other kilo since then has been a visible change to my appearance and that's very motivating, especially as it gets harder to induce a calorie deficit because I'm getting closer to my goal and maintenance weight range, plateaus are more common. But at the same time it's exciting to be slowly shifting gears into maintenance.

One of the most motivating things for me is going to the gym and grabbing weights equal to the weight I've lost, picking it up and just thinking "fuck, I used to carry this weight around with me 24/7"

My strength training is falling behind my weight loss, I can't even bench the amount of weight I've lost, I can RDL it but that's because I've still got the glutes of a fatty.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

You should weigh yourself in kilos. 1 pound is about 0.5 kilos, so twice the progress.

Edit: never mind, I can't do math

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Isn't it the other way around? A kilo is about 2.2lbs

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yes it is, I fixed it. Now it doesn't makes sense I said "twice the progress". You loose 20 or 40 kilos was my idea, but that's wrong...

[–] TommySoda 2 points 2 months ago

I wish I was used to kilos but my American brain was trained on stupid freedom units and I hate it. I'm trying to get better at it, though. The hardest one for me is Celsius and fahrenheit because fahrenheit is so bad it's hard to convert.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And it’s a slow process and a commitment that you have to stick to for months or even years.

Until the end of your life, essentially, because underlying biological conditions that made a person overweight aren't going anywhere. Most people fail to lose weight or quickly gain it back for a very good reason.

[–] kameecoding 2 points 2 months ago

I am currently listening to atomic habits and I like his take on it, and the story he tells about someone losing weight, they did it by thinking what would a skinny/fit person do when choosing what to eat etc.

If you adopt the habits of someone who is ripped there is a good chance a few years down the line you will be ripped too.

I am a fat fuck because my habit was to eat away my feelings, eat out of boredom etc, now I am trying to eat with a goal of establishing habits that will lead me to better fitness.

And I like the takes by DR. mik israetel from his ted talk, we can all look at a plate of food and judge if it's healthy or not, it's not that hard, but consistently making the right choice of eating healthy (not always but most times) is not easy.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I only went from 250 to about 150

My guy, you've lost 40% of your bodyweight. That is something to be proud of. Never undersell yourself and the effort you've put in.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My SO is trying to lose weight, and they've had to make fundamental changes in their daily habits to break the bad behaviors. This was quite hard, especially since they have friends on the other side of the world and would stay up late chatting/gaming with them, which resulted in late night snacking and overeating.

I am naturally quite thin, so it's hard for me to appreciate the work they put in to lose weight. But they've already lost ~10 lbs by changing routine over the last month or two, so I'm trying my best to encourage them to continue, especially with the holiday season coming up (we exchange treats with neighbors). We set a goal together, where once they hit their target weight (in the normal range), they'll get a significant reward (in this case, it's minor cosmetic surgery for something that has been bothering them).

[–] Maalus 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I got on unrelated meds and now am dropping like a stone. Was fat way before covid , covid made me extremely sedentary (105kgs). Got on new meds a month ago, then at 94kgs - I just stop being hungry when I take them. Meaning I take the pills in the morning, I'm not hungry till lunch at 2pm, I take them again around 3pm and they hold me till late evening (12pm, later) and I snack on the unhealthiest sweets in bed. I eat like shit too - burgers for lunch, KFC chicken, sometimes I treat myself to a healthy poke bowl (but that stuff's expensive af), always order out since I suck at cooking for myself. Dropped to 91kg and holding. With this keeping up, I expect to go to 80 - 85kg which should be a healthy weight for me. So tldr, I dropped from 105kg on new meds, then dropped from 94kg to 91kg in a month because I got different meds.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I got a pullup bar and do a lap around the office if I get bored. Lost 65 pounds with minimal effort after being off medication. Other people notice before you do and its a bit of a surprise.

[–] Maalus 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I had a pullup bar too when I was young, I got my back to ridiculous shape by doing a few pullups every now and then. Like people were surprised - I do pushups like a geriatric paraplegic, then go to a pullup bar and do a set of 20 with perfect form.

And yeah, people went "oh you lost a bunch of weight!" When I said "naaah I eat the same live the same". Then I stepped on the scale and wow.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I went from not able to lift my fat ass to 10 pull ups in less than a year and only crank out a few if I walk past and got energy to burn.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Maalus 3 points 2 months ago

It's ADHD meds, ritalin basically.

[–] SomeGuy69 44 points 2 months ago (3 children)

You'll never be the "lost a lot of weight"-guy, without being fat first. Think about it.

[–] TrousersMcPants 26 points 2 months ago

The Nikocado Avocado character arc

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Nobody get credited for staying lean all their life. Quite the opposite. I've heard all my youth about how I'm so skinny and should eat more.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Exactly, and I'm borderline overweight (right at the top end of normal BMI).

Or something people say something like "screw you and your genetics," when I genuinely weigh myself periodically and make adjustments in diet and exercise as needed to stay in the normal range.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

They're bitter because they're unhappy with themselves. It's sad.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well there definitely is a level of skinniness that is unhealthy. Just like it can be hard for some to lose weight it can be hard for others to gain it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I've been struggling with this lately. I lose weight really easy but it's difficult to gain it back. I lost a bunch after surgery a few months ago putting me at the edge of underweight. Now I can't seem to get back to a healthy weight

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Just put more cheese or chocolate on everything you eat.

Works for me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Earlier in the year I was in hospital for a while, had to have surgery. I went in at 80kg and after 5 weeks was just under 66kg.

I'm 175cm tall, BMI 26.1 (technically over weight, but was very fit) down to 21.6, which is considered "normal" but I felt very skinny and unhealthy.

The BMI thing is a little bit bullshit, since it doesn't map fitness level.

As for getting back to a healthy weight, take it slow, eat really healthy foods eat mostly nova 1 & 2 foods, some nova 3 and avoid nova 4 if possible.

Also if you have been on antibiotics while in hospital, eat ferments like kimchi or sauerkraut, maybe drink some kombucha to rebuild your gut flora. But take it slow as it can really mess you up if you dump too much in at once.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I almost exclusively make my own food so should be good on the nova classes (I'd never heard of nova before). When I got out of the hospital I learned to make my own yogurt too which I think really helped me recover from the antibiotics. As far as how healthy my foods are, idk, probably up for debate. While I do make my own food I've been resorting to higher fat and sugar dishes (mostly fat I don't like sweet flavors much) to try and get enough calories to gain weight

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Don't rush.

Base it on how you feel. If you still feel unhealthy, then sure, put on a few extra kg. But if you feel ok, then don't worry.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I had a similar, less severe problem when I started cycling to work (10 miles each way). I was losing weight, and I was getting borderline underweight.

My problem is that if I'm working on something, I'll just not eat, and that's really bad if I'm burning an extra 1-2k calories (and I'd end up really low on energy on the ride home). So I scheduled regular snacks, many of them with higher carbohydrate levels than I would normally eat (yogurt + granola, crackers + cheese, etc), and I would keep high protein snacks at my desk (nuts and whatnot). I would make sure to hit my targets for protein and fat, and then go ham with tasty snacks.

When I reached my target weight, I dropped the snacks.

If that doesn't help, then I recommend what my friend w/ thyroid issues did: drink nutrition shakes (basically adult "formula"). He had a limited appetite, so he would have to get as many calories in as possible when he was hungry, and calorie/nutrient-dense shakes worked because he would just not finish larger meals.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

As a woman I occasionally get praised for being naturally thin, but it's almost always from a place of insecurity on the part of the person praising me so it still doesn't exactly feel good.

[–] theangryseal -2 points 2 months ago

So…

Ur mom?

[–] Aceticon 20 points 2 months ago

Enjoy being a Fucking Hero!

(No sarcasm intended - that's hard enough to count as an heroic feat, IMHO, which is probably why people were telling each other about it)

[–] fox2263 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I thought the picture was Tony soprano

[–] HonoraryMancunian 12 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Oh thank God I'm not crazy