I know this is satire because there is no way Trump has any musical talent.
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
It would also require effort and a degree of hand-eye coordination not typical for those in his age group with his degree of mental deterioration.
For a lot of geriatric musicians, playing is basically muscle memory.
That also takes dedicating a good chunk of time to practice.
Many elderly people don't have a lot to do with their time, so that seems like a good thing
...contingent on having built that memory from years of practice. I don't know if there's any instrument I can imagine Trump playing, aside from tooting his own horn even when there's nothing to toot about.
Honestly, if this ever really happened it would be one thing that actually might make me want to see such a rally.
Jokes on you, Onion, because that is very clearly a Vibraphone and not a Glockenspiel. DEUUUUHHHHHHHH
Glockenspiel is a much funnier word, though 😁
Me, a true musician, they're all just sound sticks you hit. Unlike rain sticks (sound sticks you flip) and drum sticks (sound sticks to hit with)
Came for the headline, stayed for the picture, and really enjoyed the article. Well done The Onion.
You should really look into their print edition that they just relaunched, then! Really cheap and a great way to support the new ownership.
And I’m sure it was the Best glockenspiel performance ever. Professional musicians have likely told him they’ve never heard anything as great.
I really hate this timeline. We are at a point now where I thought this was legit
Oh. It's the onion. Didn't realize until well after deep into comments.
He could always play classical... though that might cause his followers to grow some brain cells and leave.
I've never understood why classic is "smart people music".
I like a lot of classic music, but I don't think it should be considered any more cultured or intellectual than any other music.
I know of one dude that listens to classical music while working - manual, not particularly brain intensive, but somehow he manages to be too daft for that anyway and does a shoddy job. He's a contractor in a niche field tho, and there's not a whole lot of them around, so his job security doesn't strictly hinge on quality.
It's definitely not "smart people music".
And he's a damned virtuoso.
A true idiot savant
A true idiot
I'm a Republican who Does His Own Research and The Onion is LIBRUL PROPAGANDA! WAKE UP Sheeple! Kid Rock would GLADLY play at Trump's Rally! The Onion is the DEEP STATE!
Feeling hot hot hot!
If only there weren't Republican musicians ...