this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 129 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm not sure what other outcome this woman could reasonably have expected.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

For real, especially if they were role playing up to that point. I know all the Wario stans would gladly take a hot glazing of Wum to the face but you gotta expect the waaaaaaaaaaah.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

She's probably as autistic as OP but she probably a cute girl so had load of normal guys smashing and didn't really have to think about much.

[–] RangerJosie 78 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This sounds like one of those teen movies from the early 2000s.

This whole scenario could have been Stifler from American Pie. Dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

[–] NegativeInf 25 points 1 week ago

I'd rent that at the BlockBuster for ¢99.

[–] idunnololz 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Huschke 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But... but... he dared you... How dare you!

[–] RangerJosie 2 points 1 week ago

Swords at midnight.

There can be only one.

[–] RangerJosie 4 points 1 week ago

/slaps you with a steel gauntlet of enduring numbness +4

[–] xantoxis 49 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

terminal cancer

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

RP verisimilitude > enjoyable sex

I don't make the rules

[–] HonoraryMancunian 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I had to look that word up

sex noun 1. (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. "they enjoyed talking about sex"

[–] BugleFingers 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Where did you find that definition? That wasn't the definition I remembered so I looked it up too and I found what I thought it was but not what you found. Was that on urban dictionary?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He had to look up the word sex.

[–] BugleFingers 5 points 1 week ago

Ahhh my bad, I'm dumb and read it wrong, ty

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago

imma Wario ima gonna cum!

This better not awaken anything in me.jpeg

[–] 2ugly2live 15 points 1 week ago

Just because of that? Was the rest of the sex also disappointing?

[–] Thcdenton 9 points 1 week ago

He wario'd to completion

[–] pigup 8 points 1 week ago

fake && gay

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Was anon's spouse the Mario at the swinger party?

[–] feedum_sneedson 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Nobody would get horny at that party.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Are you kidding? I'm getting horny over here just masturbating about it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You did not had to share this fact with us.

[–] Alexstarfire 2 points 1 week ago

Yes he did. It's in his contact.

[–] bizzle 8 points 1 week ago

Nerds know how to get down, bro.