this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2024
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My mom and her prayer warriors have been praying to get my car fixed quickly. My car has been in the shop for a month. Apparently the omniscient omnipresent God of the universe can't fix a car.

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[–] DrSleepless 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Look, God is too busy controlling the outcomes of Football games to fix your car.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's a US presidential election year, God is busy choosing candidates...

[–] NegativeLookBehind 1 points 2 months ago

No he’s busy deciding which side is paying harder and will finally win that gruesome, bloody war

[–] Kintarian 4 points 2 months ago

I took it in to get the rack and pinion replaced. The mechanic screwed it all up and charged me $1,100. He claimed everything with somebody else's fault. I took it to another mechanic and paid him $518 to fix that. Then the rack and pinion completely failed and now I have to pay another $1300 to get that fixed. And in the meantime the part was delayed because it was coming from Missouri and there was a giant storm.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Well he didn’t speak of his own Accord, so I guess he’s not a car diety. Try Ganesh instead.

[–] Fosheze 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I mean, jesus was a carpenter, not a mechanic. Maybe try asking him to install some new windows in your house or something.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Something tells me that they didn't do triple-pane installs into a modern home back in 0AD.

[–] Kintarian 5 points 2 months ago

Good point.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Try praying to Joe Pesci. He gets things done.

[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 2 months ago

Yeah, but it's his girlfriend Marisa Tomei who knows how to fix cars.

[–] Kintarian 2 points 2 months ago

Get it done or he'll break your legs!

[–] Repelle 11 points 2 months ago

I mean if god can’t defeat iron chariots (Judges 1:19) what hope does he have dealing with a way way way more advanced self-propelled steel chariot?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Common misconception; someone prayed that your car would stay broken first and He's gotta honor "first come first served"

[–] friend_of_satan 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He's only god of the gaps, and there's no gap for him to fill in our understanding of cars.

[–] Kintarian 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm listening to Ghost now, friend of Satan 🤘

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I really was listening to Ghost

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Are you ready to swear right here, right now before the devil?

[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Belial, Behemoth, Beelzebub
Asmodeus, Satanas, Lucifer

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

That is Year Zero.

[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago

Fun fact: You have to be a Christian to believe in the devil. That means you can only worship the devil if you're a Christian.

[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago

I get it now. Square Hammer. I'm a bit dense sometimes.

[–] Rhynoplaz 7 points 2 months ago

The car has free will and chooses to defy God's will.

And yes, it's going to car hell.

[–] ivanafterall 6 points 2 months ago

He's fixing your car in one of his mysterious ways. Had you gotten the car earlier, you would have veered into an orphanage. God still believes in you, even if you don't believe in him! Etc...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Counterpoint: He can, but He just won't.:-P

Side note: I bet if they really wanted your car fixed quickly, they could... ahem... manage to make it happen. 💵💰💸

img

[–] AtomicHotSauce 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

One of my cousins thanked god that she was able to pay her credit card debt. I nearly broke my neck whilst rolling my eyes at her online post.

[–] Kintarian 11 points 2 months ago

🙄

My mom says god works through people. If I have to do all the work, what do I need god for?

The cognitive dissonance is strong with these people.

[–] Kintarian 3 points 2 months ago

It's the will of god. god is an asshole. Yes, I purposely didn't capitalize god.

[–] RizzRustbolt 3 points 2 months ago

But Zen can fix your motorcycle.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Even God has to wait for the parts from the manufacturer.

[–] jordanlund 2 points 2 months ago

Even God can't overcome parts delays and supply chain issues. :(

[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Part delays due to a storm from the hand of god. You must be psychotic.

[–] CrayonRosary 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You keep replying to your own post instead of to individual comments. You gotta figure that shit out.

[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I tap or long press on someone's comment and tap reply. I'm not sure how else it should work.

[–] CrayonRosary 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Turns out it's not all of your comments. When I replied, I was only looking at the bottom where there are a few replies to no one.

[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I figured it out. For some strange reason when I tap on a comment and tap reply, it doesn't reply to the comment as one would think. It replies to me instead. I already talk to myself enough.

[–] CrayonRosary 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nice. Glad you got it sorted out. Seems like a bug in Lemmy to me. It doesn't make any sense for an inbox button to reply to the post itself.

[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago

I should post to assholedesign. Lol. I shall long press forever more. Thanks for your patience.

[–] Kintarian 1 points 2 months ago

I asked in Ask Lemmy. Maybe it's because I sometimes long press on the blue highlight in my inbox?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

What does it need? I must know.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Man upstairs kinda busy rn with all his followers fucking up his message

[–] Kintarian 0 points 2 months ago

god works in mysterious ways