"I thought we were having a smooth interview?"
"Oh no, I said DDoS! That's what I call a smooth interview."
"You call a smooth interview a DDoS?"
"Yes! It's a regional dialect."
"Uh huh, what region?"
"Uh.. Bay Area?"
"Really? Well I'm from Oakland and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'DDoS' to describe a smooth interview."
"Oh, not in Oakland, no. It's more of a San Francisco expression."
"So you're calling this a DDoS despite the obvious fact that the rest of your website was fine and not affected at all?"
"Y- Uh... you know, the... the one thing I should... oh look it's back up!"

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A very long time ago I faked lag spikes on my PC to get off a meeting. Windows has a way of throttleling your Internet in cmd (I forget how, it was very long ago).

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Consumer microwave ovens work in the 2.4-2.5 GHz spectrum. Just connect to a 2.4 Ghz only wifi, and make a popcorn, and you will lag as hell.

[–] misterdoctor 18 points 1 month ago

Plus once you’re out of your stupid meeting you can celebrate with popcorn

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Spacecunt's Nazi wankfest couldn't handle the traffic, so naturally he blames it on everything else but his shitty management

[–] consumptionone 4 points 1 month ago

It's an Albany expression.