this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2024
318 points (97.0% liked)

Greentext

4613 readers
791 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] lessthanluigi 97 points 4 months ago

Average Redditor Boyfriend

[–] [email protected] 85 points 4 months ago

Anon is the boyfriend AND the girlfriend.

[–] Leviathan 63 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't know much about women, but I know calling them pretentious, their emotions absurd, their conversation inane, their intelligence non-existent and their mental age toddler level probably isn't the best way to keep them around long-term.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't think gender is even relevant in this case.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah this just seems like an any% speed run to getting cut off by literally anyone

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Or a test to see if the partner will stay around for abuse after a period of silence..

Silence, then abuse and after that love bombing

[–] NegativeInf 54 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Leaving the oceans was a mistake.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (3 children)

My reply text would be, "We're done. Goodbye."

[–] BowtiesAreCool 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I will do you one better:

We're done. Badbye.

this will show him 😤

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Based on the etymology ‘Satanbye’ would be more correct. But that might not carry the same meaning as your proposal

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

You're a Nerd. Badbye.

[–] shneancy 6 points 4 months ago

dang, i'd have just hit block

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Just "blocked"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

You guys are missing the title: "fembot feels". The narrator is not a human but a chatbot.

EDIT: acc. to another poster -bot is the /r9k/'s equivalent of -anon. So nevermind.

[–] palebluethought 44 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

In 4chan parlance that just means she's calling herself autistic. Which in 4chan world may or may not be literal

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

goddamn there's some new friends around here 😂

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nah. More like someone who never cared about /r9k/. I'm old enough in that shithole to remember the AnT spam.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I only know about r9k through greentexts, I just stick with trolling on /g/ and /tg/ :P

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That is a dude who needs to have a dry dick for a while.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Like the rest of his life?

[–] Leviathan 12 points 4 months ago

At the very least until he gets just mature enough to realize he's not anywhere near as smart as he thinks he is.

[–] MrJameGumb 19 points 4 months ago

It sounds like her boyfriend is Ignatius J. Reilly lol

[–] Etterra 19 points 4 months ago

Look, if you're dating an idiot (m or f) that's fine, be happy. But ffs don't be an abusive jackass.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Why am I picturing a Doctor Doom kinda villain typing this? Altough this being 4chan, I'm guessing we would be closer to The Monarch.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Something struck me, I first pictured the boyfriend as the classic overweight, smelly, unkempt neckbeard. Are there new visual tropes for these sorts of pseudo intellectuals or are fedora-clad 2010 Jonah Hill lookalikes still the stereotype?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Don't sleep on the skinny dork archetype.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Can’t believe they cast RDJ as Dr DOOM when this guy is out there somewhere.

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds 5 points 4 months ago

Very healthy yes