Asklemmy

Theoretical: Stopped comparing myself to others. Instead, I compare the me of now to the me of yesterday.

Immediate Practical: Stopped social media

Deleted Facebook, instagram, 14 years ago, twitter in 2019, reddit during the api bs, stopped being the only one maintaining relationships, and finally, stopped caring about most things and people/dram I have no power to fix or change.

I have declared war on notifications. My immediate family, two closest friends, and my boss can call me. In no other circumstances will my phone make a noise or vibrate. I will check my texts when I feel like it.

Other than a few exceptions, no apps may show the notification badge either. Discord will show DMs and mentions from one or two servers. Everything else is blocked. My work email may show unread email. I’ve even turned off banners on my work chat app. I don’t think I’ve checked my personal email in months.

All my recurring charges are paperless + autopay. That’s another notification badge I forgot about - I have a budgeting app that can show transactions. I categorize them, make sure their categories are covered, and I’m done.

On the first of the month, I pay rent and set the budgeting app categories. Then I have nothing to worry about, and near-zero distractions. My biggest pain point in life is deciding what to eat for dinner.

I wanted to quit nagging my kids to close the pantry door. It conflicts with the fridge door and they're both getting banged up pretty bad. I replaced one of the pantry door hinges with a spring hinge (and removed the latch mechanism from the handle) and now the pantry door closes on its own. Sometimes, I hear them fling the door open and hit the fridge anyways, but I giggle just a little when it bonks them on the head.

I grow a garden. I have an emergency fund and paid off debts. I give my cat hugs. I take walks around the block.

I have really bad anxiety issues. So, it's not fun.

Realised I'm not important. Life is less stressful with no stakes.

I used to live in a big city and was bicycling or bussing a lot. When my apartment lease ran out, I was able to find a place where I could walk most of the time. That was great for several years. Of course it depended on the specific location.

Another thing is owning less. If you own things that you don't use at least once a year, maybe get rid of them. It's easier to clean, to move, to organize, to find things. Of course this also depends on preference. Regardless, owning things has its own mental and financial costs, so find an amount that is good for you.

Getting rid of a TV made my life better. Similarly, getting rid of a microwave. But the latter depends on your cooking habits. For example, my work has a microwave, so I heat food up there regularly, and at home I cook things.

Declutter.

I am a “two moving box guy”, priding myself on being able to fit my whole life into two moving boxes.

Then I had kids and married a fantastic women. Then you start acquiring all the things you need for a “grown up life” and you suddenly end up with weird shit like “a metal hole punch” because you needed it that one time.

And over the years you end up with a garage full of shit that might just be useful one day.

Some years ago my wife and I made an active effort to get rid of shit we didn’t have a purpose for today. If you live in a good neighbourhood chances are your neighbour will be happy to lend you a jig saw, or a metal hole punch, or disco lights or whatever you need.

Now, whenever we book an Airbnb it hits just like a jackhammer how much crap other people own that they clearly don’t need. Endless amount of water bottles etc.

Take my surgical scalpel and remove portions that do nothing but bring me grief. The best part about being an adult is being able to choose my friends and acquaintances. If someone I love is going through a rough time I'll help them, but if it drags on for years or if I never get any joy from the relationship I don't need to keep it in my life.

A long time ago I would try and keep track of things with notes. It didn’t work.

I set up my personal email calendar as my schedule and put everything into it. I even linked it to my work account, my phone, tablet, etc. I’ve made it very easy to create appts in it.

It’s made my life significantly easier.

Switched from being a software developer to being an uber driver

Read Walden by Thoreau

Recognizing the difference between complicated and complex. Complexity comes from multiple layers or interconnections. It can be elegant, efficient, sophisticated. Complicated is needlessly confusing. A tangled web. Unfathomable. My relationships are often complicated, but they are seldom complex.

I mention this not to be (very) pedantic or to take shots at the op. Rather, to the question, appropriate specificity, simplifies and improves your life. Remember those complicated relationships? More than half of my arguments started with disagreeing on what 'it' is. How many of yours?

Todoist. It's nothing to do with "productivity" per se, but that is a benefit I've reaped.

Instead of having to remember what feels like 100 things all the time and doing 2 of them, I just remember the app. And it's a hell of a lot less stressful. The sub-task function also helps simplify larger things and makes them simpler to tackle. It's a game changer as an AuDHD individual.

Build up concepts. Learn things. Enjoy life, especially when it makes you laugh.

You're looking at it right now.