this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's how Janeway actually looks, they used CGI and practical effects to edit her eyes down to normal human caffeine levels.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

A-a-are you sure you want to say that, without checking first whether she's had her coffee today?

img

She might decide to find coffee in your nebula!? :-P

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

She turned the molecules that once formed my ass into her personal replicator coffee rations to teach me a lesson.

I might be assless but at least I'm no longer being yelled at.

And Im sure the transporter will malfunction at some point & give me someone else's ass.
(In hoping for spandex)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Bit by bit, piece by piece, she will find her coffee, whatever she has to do!

Also, username kinda checks out, a little? 😛

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

(lol)
Spicy coffee, she asked for it, for by beans!

[–] FlyingSquid 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Nah. Janeway would call it weak and pour it out.

Janeway's coffee is made from ground up steel.

[–] OZFive 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Ground up steel? I heard it was depleted warp plasma.

[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

What are you doing step-captain?

[–] rivr 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

depleted warp plasma.

Photon torpedoes. That's why Voy was always short on these

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Nah. Janeway would call it weak and pour it out.

Janeway's coffee is made from ground up ~~steel~~Tuvix.

Mmmmmmm such an exotic blend.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

She only did that because she was out of nebula.

Only nebulae can charge up the replicators to provide ground steel at the purity she expects.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

A likely story. She couldn't resist the perfectly balanced notes of light and dark roasts constantly wafting around the ship, tantalizing her palette. I've seen the way she looks when someone brings Tuvix onboard. Like a woman possessed.

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm not saying she didn't think it was a delicious roast, I'm just saying it was nowhere near strong enough for the first coffee of the morning.

It's more of a last coffee right before you lay down to sleep sort of coffee.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I see what you're saying. Something that takes the edge off at the end of a stressful day of hard decisions about your crew would still be very powerful though. Like a weighted blanket of Vulcan clarity and calmness and that satisfied feeling like you just finished your favorite home cooked meal.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Tastiness changes erryone's minds 😋

[–] negativenull 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)
[–] rivr 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yee hot cuppa of 'jino and the reports... That's what former resistance fighters love in the morning

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

That's what former resistance fighters love in the morning

Lol, Kira probably grew up on the stuff.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

What's in raktajino, anyway? It's not caffeine; there are plenty of high-caffeine drinks - hell, I can make an awful-tasting, but high-caffeine espresso with what I have set up at home. And you can pretty easily consume enough caffeine to kill you; it is toxic, we just don't consume it at high enough concentrations.

I have the same question about Romulan Ale. Everclear is 190 proof - 95% ABV. You can go to a liquor store today and buy almost pure alcohol. It's nasty, but you can't get any more than 100% alcohol, and Everclear is pretty close. So what is the stimulant in Romulan Ale, b/c it probably isn't alcohol.

[–] ricdeh 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Why can it not be caffeine? I don't understand the reasoning behind that. Raktajino might be just another high-caffeine drink with a special taste.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Because it's always presented as being super-coffee, chemically. Good coffee is good coffee, but there's no universally great brewing method that always produces superior coffee. You can make bad pour-over, bad espresso, bad American, bad cold brew. But all Raktajino is apparently incredible and strong. I can make 8 shots of espresso, put it in a cup, and it'll taste strong and maybe give you heart palpitations by the time you finish it. But it won't be necessarily good. And it might not even taste as good as espresso made by James Hoffman.

The more I think about it, the more I think the key molecule in Raktajino isn't caffeine. It's probably something like amphetamines.

[–] jaybone 4 points 5 months ago

It’s like the lemonade at Panera.

[–] rivr 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I imagine - for the thrill, that raktajino comes from similar grain to kopi luvak irl. Digested and pooped by targs and harvested for ahot cups of klingon coffee 🫠

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Oh, so it's the Klingon equivalent of civet coffee.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Those eyes remind me of Monty Python's Complete Waste Of Time

1000015420

[–] rivr 8 points 5 months ago

Oh fuck, Terry Gilliam's cutout animations were terrifying sometimes

May the Prophets forgive you my child for linking this image 🪄

[–] rivr 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

janeway one prob comes after the "year of hell" 💀

[–] mipadaitu 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

One thing that never made sense about Year of Hell.

If breaking the equipment reset the timeline... Wouldn't the timeline eventually reset at some point anyway? Like... Nothing lasts forever, so eventually it would have broken, either through accident, damage, or just entropy. So... Wouldn't the timeline just reset no matter what they did?

[–] FlyingSquid 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Stop asking questions. This is Voyager. They pressed the big reset button.

[–] rivr 2 points 5 months ago

Naomi Wildman, you will desist making sense

[–] teft 3 points 5 months ago

Anorax’s ship existed outside normal time and space. The ship would have lasted forever with Anorax continually tweaking the timeline if Kathy hadn’t done her thing.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

All of Star Trek are just ancient tales and myths told by space prophets and galactic mystics hallucinating under the influence of Raktajino.

[–] Thcdenton 3 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Future weedtime lulz

Edit: Your meme is now property of the Weedtime Empire. GLORY TO MARY JANE!

https://sh.itjust.works/post/22187371