If a partner moved in with me they absolutely would help pay my mortgage. But I wouldn't lie that I didn't own the place. Just set standards of what I expect
this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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Let's be serious, the bank owns the place until it's all paid off.
That's what I'm doing with my SO. My house and my mortage but she pays about half of it though that includes also groceries, water and electricity
My partner said that when he'd move in with me, he'd pay his share. His logic is that he's currently paying a landlord and he'd rather pay me. That way I get more financial room to loan money again (I own my apartment, but have a mortgage), and he'd pay less than current rent, allowing him to expand on a down-payment buffer. Ideally this way we could upgrade to a small house in time, suitability split, and I keep the apartment to rent out or I can sell it.
There is power in combined finances, but you need to take into account what you'd do on your own. That said, I would prefer to be in a situation where I could just let him move in for free, as life is expensive enough already.
But I also believe that it is essential to a good relationship that each carries their reasonable share. I grew up with my mom fully depending on my dad for finances as she was a stay at home mother. I loved she was always there for us, but when my parents grew apart, she really struggled and dealt with a lot of guilt because she couldn't provide for us as before. This is why I've always made sure I could make my own way. My apartment isn't the greatest but I'm thankful every day I can benefit from ownership.
What the hell is up with some of these "memes"? This isn't funny
Someone is dumping their entire Facebook meme backlog. Whole lotta boomer posting
The fact that he lied about owning property is gross, but if he had told her, why wouldn't she contribute to the monthly bills? She is occupying space.
Again not telling her is shady but if she could make an informed decision, paying rent to live in a house isn't crazy, even if one person is accruing long term value from the spend.
If it were me I'd obv tell her day 1, then offer a generous rent rate. The house is being worn down by 2, but you are gaining long term value (paying principle on the mortgage). She can't expect to live rent free, but you can't expect her to share the mortgage burden equally.
Because when they break up she has nothing and he has her money in the form of equity. Splitting consumption bills is obviously good, but splitting a mortgage where one party gets it all is far less cut and dry.
If that's all up front and she agrees then whatever but the scenario in the meme is pretty scummy
Replies filled with people that will hopefully never live with their girlfriends because they seem very satisfied with the idea of lording over a romantic partner.
Not to say that the deception is shitty, but she'd be in the same situation as if she rented a place. It's a little out there to expect equity when all you did was cohabitate for a period, it's the exact same thing as renting a room or something.
The difference is a rental agreement and generally people in relationships aren't expected to be in a landlord tenant situation. If this was just your friend then sure
Well hang on, here's a scenario for you: Say I own a 2 bedroom condo, and have a roommate that I charge rent. One day, I meet a girl and we start dating. At some point, said roommate moves out, and it just happens that my gf and I are at the point where she moves in, and said 2nd room gets turned into a office or guest room, because obviously we're going to share the master. She pays me rent for living with me (might even be a lower amount for whatever reason). After two years, we decide to break it off since it isn't working between us and she moves out. Do you think I should be expected to pay her out a slice of equity? How is that any different than a roommate renting a room from a financial standpoint?
And in response to your other reply, what if she didn't contribute to repairs? I think my point here is where do we draw the line? I can understand if a partner makes a significant investment contribution to the property, but I don't know if I necessarily agree even with a certain length of time outside of marriage without a prenup, considering if y'all were renting somewhere you would have no claim to the property whatsoever. Just because someone is in a relationship with someone, in my mind, does not entitle them to another person's assets just because they were together.
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Because when they break up she has nothing and he has her money in the form of equity. Splitting consumption bills is obviously good, but splitting a mortgage where one party gets it all is far less cut and dry.
The person renting (man or woman, if the situation was reversed on gender) has no responsibility for maintenance or liability to the house. If the renter is paying rent, they should also have no responsibility to pay for any house maintenance. Roof needs replacing? Homeowner pays, renter pays nothing. Fridge goes out? Homeowner pays, renter pays nothing. Mail carrier slips on ice and sues? Homeowner need to defend themselves, renter pays nothing. If the renter wants to break up and move to Alaska, renter can do exactly that with 30 days or less notice. Homeowner would need to go through all the trouble of evicting and selling the property to do the same.
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My gf pays half the mortgage. She lives here. She uses everything. She helps with bills. This is a lot less expensive than if she were paying rent elsewhere.
She also didn't contribute to: new fridge, new kitchen floor (damage from old fridge), new bathroom ceiling (mold damage), new driveway, new garage, tree removal and trimming, new door (that broke when she failed to latch it in high wind), and all other house stuff.
asking half the mortgage when the burden of all the rest is on you is not asking a lot.
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We specifically split the interest portion of my mortgage. It changes every payment obviously, so we just rounded it and adjusted it every year or so.
5 years later we’re getting married, so it’s all moot.
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I mean, if they're not married and he charged her rent, how's that much different than having a roommate? Why would she be entitled to ownership of the property just because she paid for a place to live, barring marriage or common law? There's something to be said about being up front about your financial situation sure, but how she could expect equity out of the arrangement is a little asinine, unless she helped pay for repairs and upkeep (aside from basic cleaning/chores).
It's obviously all a made up scenario, but imo time is a significant factor here. If she lives there for three years then it's likely that she's helped with repairs etc, so imo should be entitled to equity in some respect.
Seems a bit shit to treat a partner like a roommate.
This is supposed to be a meme?
What’s the expectation here? That you get to live for free because you’re banging a guy who owns a house? Alrighty.
My husband literally lives for free because 90% of our income comes from me. His money basically is just our food. So yeah, its unethical to charge your partner rent. Its really weird to view relationships as a business deal where you both give exactly 50 percent. That sounds like roommates who have sex.
Your husband.
That's commitment and with it comes a lot of decision, one of them whether to keep money separate, pool together or just have one account altogether.
But unless that commitment is made, expecting ither half to be responsible and pay for their shit - unless agreed otherwise beforehand - is to be expexted.
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Totally. What makes sense is to have a discussion about it and come to an agreement. Whatever arrangement that feels fair for both of you. You two have an arrangement that works for both of you and you’re both OK with it.
On the other hand just because you two are together doesn’t mean he’s automatically entitled to you paying 90%. That just happens to be something you both landed on and you’re clearly OK with it. Not everyone will be and it’s unfair to expect them to be ok with it.
I don’t think it’s unethical for your partner to chip in. Lying about it on the other hand is.
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In the UK, she has some claim to shared equity.
Holy fucking oof.
Damn.
Jesus christ
Evryone missing the possibility that he owned it outright (no mortgage)
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How did she find out? I would've kept it going
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