For preserving the least toxic and most culturally relevant Tumblr heritage posts.
Image descriptions and plain text captions of written content are expected of all screenshots. Here are some image text extractors (I looked these up quick and will gladly take FOSS recommendations):
-web
-iOS
Please begin copied raw text posts (lacking a screenshot that makes it apparent it is from Tumblr) with:
# This has been reposted here to Lemmy as part of the "Curated Tumblr Project."
I made the icon using multiple creative commons svg resources, the banner is this.
Imagine living in a world where squirrel you startled would jump out of a bush and electrocute people. Or that flower you tried to pick was actually a pokemon and just sprayed you with sarin gas?
In that world I would empathize with gun nuts. How else will you deal with the 30-50 feral Lechonk that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?
Uhh, just punch it to death? It's a normal type, it's weak against fighting.
Type barely matters once you're 5 levels apart.
It might matter a little more in a 30v1 against angry New York commuters.
Eh, Levels bring a linear increase in strength and durability, while an effective attack doubles your damage output. So you'd need twice your opponents level to make up for type disadvantage. Of course, that's assuming you're fighting against a pokemon controlled by a human player. However, wild pokemon can't take full advantage of their type advantage.
Imagine a world where someone can destroy a building by summoning a near 30ft rock snake inside it.
Don't forget the psychic ones. Any world with abundant telepathy and mind control is pretty much guaranteed to be a dystopia.
Hypno was definitely one of the scariest Gen 1 pokemon.
While it awaits its prey, it polishes its pendulum. If anyone comes by, Hypno will hypnotize them and eat their dreams. It carries away people having good dreams and is even known to have stolen a child at one point.
at one point
Weak sauce.
Drifloon:
Stories go that it grabs the hands of small children and drags them away to the afterlife. It dislikes heavy children.
Imagine you are just going for a walk on the path near the creek. Then all of a sudden a Hitmonlee jumps out and just kicks you straight in the nuts. Or a 5ft scyther appears and slashes you in half. Or every year a gyarados appears in a random port city and just destroys everything. Lagos last year, Chicago this year, Singapore a decade ago, Rotterdam before that. Pidgeots fly at super sonic speeds and are large enough to prey on a golden retriever.
We would all be absolutely fucked if pokemon were real.
Sounds like the monster hunter universe doesn't it? We'd build knives out of Scyther blades, armor out of Steelixes and have cities/communities wrecked by the occasional boss monster wandering about. And probably domesticate the Pikachu to be palicoes.
To be fair, monster hunter goes buck fucking wild with calamities though.
"Hey hunter, rumor has it, your next target is either the devil sent to destroy the world, or possibly the mother of all creation. Here's some whetstones!"
"Sup hunter. Got a volcano on our hands. Do us a favor and kill it, would you? Don't forget your lucky cape."
"Oh hey! Hope you don't mind a little wind, cause your next quest is to kill the god of hurricanes! Best to take a quick dip in the sauna before you go."
"Hunter, how's it going? I know this week's been pretty crazy with the rogue fighter jet and the giant mech suit you killed already, but if you could just do me a solid and jump into that ominous pit and kill death itself for me, that'd be very cool of you. The chef made a nice fondue for you before you head out!"
Endbringer Gyrados checks out.
Humans have a tendency to make other animals go extinct, so much so that we've already killed hundred thousand of years of evolution. I wouldn't be too worried about the short-term effects on humans.
In some regions of the world it's illegal to leave home without a gun. For this reason
So...Australia.
The beedrills are 12 feet tall in Australia and breathe fire
Good luck training your red back spider to fight paralysis ticks
In a world where Beedrill exists, I'm bringing fire pokemon absolutely everywhere. Hell, if they make a three foot cockroach pokemon, I'm never leaving the house again.
Why’d they make it hot
Why did they make it hot
Why did they make it hot?
why did they make it hot
Hot did they make it why
Snorlax randomly diverts traffic by napping in the worst place possible.
Fortunately people have alternatives to driving and walking, because predatory birds (and some insects) grow large enough to carry a human.
How big is Pidgey?
Bulbapedia says 1', 4 pounds.
Still technically puntable but you're going to have a hell of a sore ankle afterward.
Pidgeotto is 3 feet tall and 66 pounds, it could steal your kids if it wanted to.
They're frequently used in protests!
Imagine somebody unleashing a flock of Wailords in a protest
Considering the relative size of a pokeball and a Wailord, a Wailord is a bomb. Just take your pokeball inside any building you don't want to exist anymore, and release the Wailord.
In lore pokemon can supposedly scale their size which is part of how the ball works (forcing them to miniaturize), but I don't recall any show ever showing unlimited resizing
"Why do guns exist in Pokémon?"
Pokémon:
Literally Palworld
Exactly. Why do you think people like it so much?
Digimon cannon parity
I used to wish I lived in a world like Pokemon, with endless interesting creatures with crazy abilities
Then, I realized that Earth is that world, except we've just killed off most of the animal life. Even the fireflies... They used to be everywhere in summer, I recently met kids who had never seen one. I found two in the middle of the woods during summer - literally surrounded by miles of forest
We live on a dying paradise, and it's depressing
The coolest thing about Pokemon, to me, was how all those creatures are also completely safe and easy to take care of as pets, and very easily domesticated by a 10 year old.
Like, fuck earth. I want a pet bear that fights for me.
Dat beedrillussy doe
I am afraid it looks more like an extruding pointy appendage.
Don’t threaten me with a good time!
There would absolutely be a fandom around getting fucked, in whichever hole, by those "drillers".
Beedrill is the only real pokemon in this picture. You ever see a Japanese hornet? Those fuckers are huge!