2FA, second flush authentication.
this post was submitted on 09 May 2024
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hmmm
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For things that are "hmmm".
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Is this real today or a prediction of the future?
It's obviously fake, my Lotus SmartToilet only ever requests a face scan to verify my identity.
You gotta enroll in AnusID! The flush times are significantly faster and the probe to verify you only hurts a little.
PUCKERPRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN. PUCKER PRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN.
"I just gotta check your asssshole sir"
Just like when I go to the local bodega for weed.
Anal print changed from hemorrhoids.
If it was really smart it would scan your butthole.
I remember reading something about Dali I think getting butthole prints of people and discovering that butthole prints are just as identifying as finger prints.
Huh... I never thought about it. But that makes a lot of sense.
I thought we were all joking here but what the fuck: Stanford’s new ‘smart toilet’ will check out your anus
Full article from Stanford: https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/04/smart-toilet-monitors-for-signs-of-disease.html
Damn, I heard about that a couple years ago and just looked it up again...
Please scan your genitals and a copy of your government issued identification to verify your identity.
You are attempting to verify a fact. Your authorization code is 42069. The future will never ask for your personal information.
Enjoy your flush!
VerificationCan.jpg
Not even surprised they're an apple user.
I dropped my phone in the toilet, what do now?
Well good thing it prevented you from flushing it with your phone in the toilet.
Phone don't work anymore though. Now I'll never be able to flush again 😭
Sigh, I guess I'll have to do the waffle stomp from now on... 💩
Oh how the mighty have fallen. You once considered yourself worthy of Olympus and now you have regained your rightful place, pushing your waste into the sewer with your feet like the rest of us.
Fish it out.
"Subscribe to flush+ for just $39.99/month and get unlimited flushes!"*
*unlimited flushes between 3am and 4am only. All additional flushes are $2.99 per flush. Surge flushing rates apply for 2 hours following any consumption of coffee or Indian food
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