How do you accidentally have sex?
this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2024
510 points (96.7% liked)
Greentext
5354 readers
1379 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
You can’t tell me you’ve never tripped, fell, and found yourself having sex before? Duh. It’s like so common.
It’s like a cartoon of my life!
… ok not really.
You’re not the guy pushing the service cart?
Man, MTV must have been so cool
Only ever happens to conservative men and only with other men.
Maybe he was lying on his back and a partner just got off and a woman saw there was an available penis and got on before OP could say "no hetero", and by then he felt it and decided to never say it.
"No Hetero" 🤣
Made me laugh way too hard.
I'm saying that to women that I just want a platonic relationship with now.
- Be at an orgy
- Have sex with someone you didn't intend to f
- ???
- Profit
Haha thanks, I forgot about this gem!
Think it might be time to rewatch the office!
Fiction
lots of alcohol I'm guessing
how do you not
Lots of alcohol usually
Exactly. It's probably just a bullshit story to encourage gay people back into the closet.
Why would this story compel anyone back into the closet?
It pushes the idea that gay people can be "cured" with straight sex, which was extremely popular with homophobes in the 80s and 90s.
I see that people could get this idea and its worded like that in the greentrxt but people with half a brain would go: "congrats, you just found out that you are bi"
The fact that it doesn't reach that incredibly obvious conclusion just makes me even more skeptical. He specifically says he's straight now.
Well i guess 4chan is not a stranger to different kinds of phobias so your take makes sense
labels are for jars.
Of for my fuck boy. He has a label with my name.
Minecraft is gay
Go two knuckles deep and hold the cum button until you reset to the factory settings.
careful not to also press the taint, or you do a screenshot
Another picture of a pocket?
pussy so good boy got a factory reset
Sounds like it overloaded on sex and rebooted while they were having sex with a woman. Like holding the analog stick of your controler when turning it on.
Like holding the analog stick of your controller when turning it on.
Isn’t that called masturbation?
Take it out/blow on it/put it back in
peNES
peSNES
peN64
Pegging is fine, I guess.
Become such a degenerate that you loop back around...
a l i a s i n g
My preferences have heavily shifted.
Used to do guys only but now I'm more into women. Not that I ever say no to a man who grooms himself well.
when the pussy so good it make ya do the Windows 95 logon noise
I too am afraid of having an accidental sex with a woman.