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submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago

Also we’re going to go ahead and get you to commute again for literally no reason ❤️

[-] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago

Wait, wait, wait. Just hold up a minute! Are you seriously trying to tell me that spending 10+ hours a week and thousands of dollars a year sitting in a car just so you can "work" in an open room where you can't hear yourself think, much less get any actual work done, is bad for your mental health?

Your ungrateful little shit. Not only are you getting paid, you're saving a ton of money by not having any recreational time and you have a convenient excuse for avoiding your SO and missing your kids stupid sports games. You should be paying your employer for the privilege of commuting to work.

/s

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Also, we have a locked lease on an oversized office to impress our clients and shareholders. This office also shows said clients and shareholders we are a real company, even if we miss every deadline.and deliver a dog shit product. And, middle manager Kevin needs to feel important by actually seeing his underlings working and cowering in fear at his presence, do you really want the CEO's nephew to feel worthless?

[-] captainlezbian 5 points 2 months ago

I’m convinced that shit is why managers love rto.

[-] SlopppyEngineer 6 points 2 months ago

Drive by management is just a lot more fun than putting effort in clear communication and good organisation. Imaging to actually having to work for that big wage.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Drive by management

I like this. I'm going to steal it.

[-] SlopppyEngineer 2 points 2 months ago

There is also seagull management. They at least take the time to shit on everybody too.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I have met way too many of those people. It's a sad way to live your life.

[-] lost_tortie 33 points 2 months ago

You get a few free zoom sessions with a talk therapist! Problems solved ✅

[-] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago

How about a pizza party instead?

[-] Garbanzo 7 points 2 months ago

Yeah, that's what we're going with. The pizza will be delivered in time for management's lunch break. Please enjoy during your regularly scheduled break or lunch, by which time the good stuff will be gone and what's left will be cold.

[-] EdibleFriend 24 points 2 months ago

please give us 2 weeks notice if you intend to kill yourself.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

I'm part of the "health and safety" team at my job and every meeting my suggestion to improve mental health is "give raises." Lol

[-] Bluefruit 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

How about a pizza party champ?

[-] NeptuneOrbit 11 points 2 months ago

We call them slices here at AOL-Time-Warner-Pepsico-Viacom-Halliburton-Skynet-Toyota-Trader-Joe's

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

"We'd like to take this month to remind you that, as the primary source of stress in your life, we don't actually pay you enough to escape. If you improve your life too much and can take too much time off, you might realize just how much we've taken from you. While you struggle to cope with the dichotomy we've created between your struggle here to afford your life and the struggle in your life to escape from here, we really want to emphasize

Mental health is your responsibility ♥️

Sincerely,

- Your overlords"

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

"Crying is not permitted in company restrooms. Please schedule all mental breakdowns either during your lunch hour or other personal time."

[-] Anticorp 2 points 2 months ago

Can anyone tell me how to punch an imaginary quoted person in the face through the internet?

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Best we can do is Casual Fridays. But no ripped jeans

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

We're going to take all the tables and chairs out of the break room so we have room for a ping pong table, to show what a fun company we are!

Where will you sit to rest and eat? Why would you need to do that?

Also no using the ping pong table during work hours.

[-] TastyWheat 2 points 1 month ago

Management Daily Ping Pong Championships are at 2pm BTW.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

If they really wanna be family, they'd let me stay in my own bedroom rent-free in the boss's house.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

he's barely even using that attic above his 5 car garage

[-] AnUnusualRelic 10 points 1 month ago

"We shall paint one wall blue. And maybe add a vapid slogan in Comic Sans."

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

That slogan?

Live Laugh Lube

[-] Anticorp 9 points 2 months ago

"we don't want to actually change anything, we just want the image boost from saying that we care about it"

[-] SlopppyEngineer 8 points 2 months ago

We'll do anything for the mental health of our workers except spending any money, time or effort.

[-] Jerkface 6 points 2 months ago

"So, what other resources do we have?"

"Our employees."

"Great. Let's just spend them."

[-] Xanis 7 points 2 months ago

I enjoy pointing out that for a company that makes X Profit, Y Salary does not equal Z Bankruptcy. If it did you don't want to work for them anyway since they're one good solid financial fart away from going under.

It's all smoke and mirrors. Most companies can afford twice the workforce they have. Layoffs and hiring freezes exist to make the quarterly reports look pretty for the largely sociopathic execs who are just literate enough in most cases to deeply appreciate books with pictures that are less than 30 pages in length.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

If they're publicly traded then they're required by law to try to have continuous growth. Of course, that's not sustainable.

[-] Xanis 1 points 1 month ago

So while it is slightly more complex than this, what you just said fundamentally boils down to:

You're wrong.

Fiduciary Responsibility, yes. Legal requirement: No.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

You can have twenty minutes of "chair yoga" per week.

[-] [email protected] -5 points 2 months ago

Ha! I like how the person uses the kid-pidgin 'ppl'. If you want to ruin your stance on an argument, obviously, you need crayon; but 'ppl' makes people wonder whether it's too hard to type the other three letters or just too long. That confusion will only help.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Bro it's Twitter get over yourself

this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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