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Protecting your grain in 700 BC (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/[email protected]
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[–] Blue_Morpho 75 points 3 months ago (1 children)

2000 year later and things haven't changed:

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Ngl, I would give a few bags of flour ...

[–] AnUnusualRelic 66 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Has there been any serious research into 700 BCE buttock decorating? Asking for a friend.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago

Here is his friend. Anything please?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 months ago (2 children)

[–] MeatPilot 43 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Next week on: Ancient Incels

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

They "are totally not incels, you just don't know them, they go to a different planet, they abduct me on the regular, so much you wouldn't believe, all the probes" ...

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Zeus can find what?? Leaving out crucial information here!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

What can't you read‽ Zeus can find 70!

[–] Iron_Lynx 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I doubt he can find 1.198 × 10^100^

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Bruh is a god, I think he'll manage.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Nah it's Zeus, he'll say "fuck it" after not too long.

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

70 what?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Just 70, silly! Come on, get with the programme!

[–] Aceticon 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

From the whole paragraph, that would be 70 sons.

Makes sense as Zeus was well known for his affairs with mortal women using various disguises.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I’m wondering if Hesiod was referring to jewelry, fancy clothes, or tattoos.

[–] moistclump 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Butt plugs. The kind with the jewels. Or tails.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Something something sparta stuffing a fox under their tunic, I don't remember how it goes.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago (2 children)

What kind of buttock decoration methods did they even have in 700bc?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Grain.

[–] troglodytis 19 points 3 months ago

The words are ancient and clear: never trust a big butt and a smile.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I always interpreted this as a willful mistranslation considering what a granary looks like.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 months ago

I think that's how they said "gold digger" ~2700 years ago

[–] thirdBreakfast 9 points 3 months ago

Hesiod, Works and Days (370) or 373. Also Wikipedia.

[–] Hikermick 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Is grain code for seed?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago

Back in the day being rich means owning lots of land and harvesting lots of crops from it. Grain means money.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I don't think decorated butt means it's a big butt

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wait a second.... were there even buttocks in 700 BC?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago

Yes... BC stands for Butt Crack

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Watch out! She's after your seed!