A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
Lots of good responses here already.
One additional point from my own cats and dogs - if the introduction goes smoothly, and they become friends (or even tolerant rivals), the older pet lives longer and healthier.
The younger pet encourages the older to stay a bit more active, which helps their health - as long as the older has some retreat options.
I know a single data point is pretty worthless. But here is our most recent experience.
When we suddenly lost one of our 5 year old brother cats, the one who was still with us got lethargic and very obviously wasn't himself. We waited about 2 months then brought two rescue kittens home about a week apart, and did a fairly relaxed intro for each before bringing in the next.
He hissed at both of them for the first 5 minutes when physical contact was allowed but otherwise he left them alone for a few days each.
Within a week they were sleeping together. Now they can often all three be found in a big furpile licking each other and he is back to his playful self. We considered not getting another friend for him. But we are so very happy we did.
Cat Tax: Batman (The older brother) is on the bottom left, Eddie Vedder Allen Poe is the one sitting up, and Skeeter can be seen squinting on the right as she always does when she is in her happy place.
That's an adorable void pile you got there!
Thanks. I won't tell them or it'll just go to their head.
This is a tough one. When I find out someone has a 13 year old cat or dog I gently tell them that they need a second pet and they need it now. Because statistically in one to 6 years they will come home to an empty house and their soul is going to break when their buddy of more than a decade isn't there.
You have a cat in declining health. It isn't 100% possible to tell if their new issues are because of the kitten or if these were things that were going to happen anyway and the kitten's arrival is just coincidence.
All joining of a new cat to an established cat house is going to be rocky for a bit. I foster ferals for the local county shelter and SPCA and tame them up so they can be adopted. I have mean nasty cats show up and piss off the locals every month. But after a few days everything settles out and they all get used to each other because there is plenty of food they don't need to fight over and another room they can go to.
Except Junko. She is our 8 year old and still wants to be angry around cats that have been here one year less than her. Because she is mean. If I had the money I'd get her Prozac to see if it helps.
And that's where your next step is. Your senior cat needs a vet visit. Let's check their weight and everything else to see if they are getting enough nutrition. Is some medication to chill them out an option for them?
Do they have a spot in the house that is just theirs? Is the kitten making an effort to stay way or are they up in their face trying to make friends?
They have their own places to sleep, to eat and Litter bo. At the moment I do my best so that they don't meet directly and don't have any problems: if the older cat enters one room, I put the kitten in another. I plan to do this for a couple of weeks and then introduce them more directly, with the kitten in a cage so she doesn't get attacked.
I'd avoid coddling too much. One tool I found that helps cats get along is the laser pointer. They both get so focused on that that they kind of forget that they're in each other's space trying to get it at the same time. Once they realize that they can be in the same space at the same time, without that hostility they tend to get along a lot better.β
It may not work in this situation because of the older cats health issues. But generally the closer you can keep them without any risk of attack, the faster they adopt each other or at least tolerate each other.
β sometimes I wonder if cats are soothed by hunting and exude some kind of smell that disarms other cats.
Right. The older cat is blind. No laser pointer.
When offering up advice in public places I sometimes include options that won't work in a specific situation but might apply to the few dozen or thousand that might read it. That's why I specifically mentioned that that probably won't work in this case. And I stress "probably" because I had a "blind" cat that could see a laser. The first time I lured her into the bedroom with a laser my then girlfriend, now wife, started crying because this cat had previously only detected sun vs shadow and she wasn't even entirely sure that was not at sensing heat thing.
By the way. That's Harper. She moved in a year before my girlfriend. I made sure to ask "if I have to do I have medical permission to have that eye removed." We eventually did remove that eye. It almost killed her. But when she did finally recover she was a 14 year old kitten with lots of bounce because that cranial pressure was no longer there. The other eye was mostly bad too. Never saw anything other than a laser pointer. She was this way from birth.
sometimes I wonder if cats are soothed by hunting and exude some kind of smell that disarms other cats.
Well, both of those are true separately. Not sure if that would be amplified when combined. It's an interesting question.
I adopted a new male adult to join my male adult and the new one wanted to be friends. The established one wouldnβt accept him. They didnβt get along until we moved and neither had a territorial claim.
I think you can take objects (like a blanket or towel) that they have used and get each other used to the scents. I have only tried this once (only adopted a new kitty with an established kitty twice). Not sure how effective it is.
Most important, to me: pet the established kitty first every time you come into the room. A kitty died and I brought in a new kitten. I always talked to and pet the adult first so that she didnβt feel like she was being replaced / reduced jealousy. I donβt know how much this helped, but I think it was better than had I pampered the kitten first. Thatβs just vibes, but it sure didnβt hurt.
@NONE_dc I'm wondering if Rubia's blindness has something to do with this. She sounds very scared.
Cats hold onto their pee out of fear, and if she's off her food she's probably drinking less as well. She's risking kidney problems.
I think there needs to be at least one nice room that the kitten is not allowed to ever enter so she never has to smell it directly.
As others have said, you need to take your cat not peeing very very seriously, it can quickly become a several thousand dollar surgery or ICU stay, and it can even be fatal, if your cat is that stressed I think you need to temporarily remove the kitten at least and try again more gradually and with the advice others have given. But for now you need to take your cat to the vet asap.
My cat was 16 or so years old and in good health, though pretty under weight, when we brought in a 6 week old kitten.
Having been a loner all her life, she wasn't so happy to have the kitten around, but left her be. My only concern was the kitten was so small she might kill her.
By 18 months, the kitten was larger than my senior cat, but had been put in her place so many times they mostly left each other alone.
Occasionally they'd scrap a bit, but that was just the kitten wanting to play and the old one hissing and swatting her away. Honestly, I think it gave her some needed excercise to be chased around a bit and stalked.
I made sure they each had their own food, water, and litter box, and there never was any real issue.
They both had their spots, the kitten up top of the cat tree, and the old lady in her bed. I think so long as they have enough room to get away from each other it will be fine. They never became friends, but they learned to live and let live well enough. It even reached the point they could both sit with me on the couch and not fight.
Had to put the older cat down a few weeks ago, and as sad as that was, it was very nice to have the kitten at home so the house didn't feel so empty.
Introducing a new family member is difficult for any cat. They don't like change. Best thing you can do is keep the new kitten apart for a while, like giving them their own room for a few weeks. The older cat should feel like it's 'their' home, new blood upsets the balance of power.
After a while you can reintroduce the kitten. When you pet the new cat, use the same hand to pet the older one. Cats do a lot by smell so mixing their distinct smells will make it easier.
Also make sure the older cat has their own food, their own litterbox and make sure the kitten doesn't take in any of their favourite spots to sleep.
It's hard work, you'd have to constantly pay attention to the lil guy and you can't control what happens when you sleep.
Also kittens need to sleep 22 hours a day but with an older cat around they're gonna wanna harass the older cat to show they mean business.
I would not recommend introducing a new cat to any cat over 2 years of age. At this point best thing you can do is wait it out and hope your old guy improves.
It's important to understand why your cat is not taking to the new one. It's primarily the change in a familiar situation.
This is how I did it, except I did it with three female cats aged 13, 12 and 8. It's rough at first but now they have an "understanding"
Is your cat peeing somewhere? If they don't pee in 24 hours, thats a vet visit. Just had to take mine in to the ERvet for that. Make sure she is drinking plenty of water. 13 is only middle age if she's getting regular checkups and love :)
I wouldn't worry about the kitten too much, they'll come around. I think you're doing everything right so far! As the other commenter said, introducing them through playtime could help, or doing the trick of feeding them near each other. (Which is easier if your cat is food motivated, but it doesn't sound like old lady is, ahh the struggles)
Lots of good advice here already, I just wanted to add I've had good luck with Feliway when I had to introduce a new cat into an existing dynamic. Could be placebo, but it really seems to help calm them down enough to get used to each other.
You definitely want to introduce them slowly, but generally adding a kitten is the right way to go. Are you already using Feliway? If not, I'd get some.
I've taken in a number of cats, it takes awhile for the older cats to accept new cats, but they've always gotten over it. The only exception is I had one singular kitten who could not get along with the other cats and had to be re-homed.
We had an older cat and got a kitten. The kitten was super wild and wanted to play 24/7. Old cat"s only escape was to get on top of tables and dressers where baby cat was too small to jump. That was ok until kitten started patrolling and old kitty couldn't even go to the litter box without little cat jumping out at her. My poor old cat was miserable and we ended up taking her to my mom's. She was much happier there with no other animals. Few years later we got another kitty and did a whole introduction process - two days with new cat in a room and old cat in the house, two days with old cat in a room and new cat in the house, swapping beds to smell each other, food beside the door so they were eating near each other. They became great friends - playing and sleeping together. When my mom passed we took in her animals and now it's a shit show! We have five boxes but all 3 cats want to use one and one cat just poops beside that box. There are nightly cat fights that the dogs try to get in the middle of. It's so loud! Cats fight, dogs bark, husband yells -which has zero impact on the fighting or barking, and i yell that his yelling is just adding to the noise. Good times....
Lmao, solid write up!
It can be dangerous, and itβs not guaranteed to go well.
Cats are territorial animals - don't introduce another one into their safe space