this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
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I just learned that the Time Cube is no more. (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by dejected_warp_core to c/insanepeoplefacebook
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Some of you may remember this absolute diamond of insanity that was the "4-Day Time Cube." This was the go-to example of the internet as a universal amplifier for communication - for both the sane and insane alilke. It was there from nearly the start of the world-wide web, back in the 1990's. Alas, it ceased to be some time ago, but it still lives on in our hearts.

For the uninitiated: welcome. Read and join the rest of us that are "educated stupid."

Amateur documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7lWCqbgQnU

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[–] dual_sport_dork 58 points 8 months ago (6 children)

And additional reading:

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Time_Cube

Warning -- Do not attempt to read the entirety of the original text of the Time Cube web site even if you can find an archive of it. If you think you've ever seen a "wall of text," whatever you're thinking of pales in comparison to the monumental screed that Gene Ray put together and slapped on the internet. It's a completely incomprehensible monolith of run-on sentences and whackdoodle ranting in eye searing colors peppered with random bolding and underlining. You can glance at it to get the idea, but trying to process the entire thing will probably leave you just as insane as the author by the time you get to the bottom.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

As a person who visited the actual website when it was up and scrolled through the ridiculously long single page of center-justified text, this description is entirely accurate.

[–] dejected_warp_core 22 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Here at [email protected], we have a team of crack scientists that are studying this dangerous material one line at a time, for safety.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You need to stop giving those scientists crack, damn

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

But it's just so moreish!

I had to look up how to spell moreish

[–] Madrigal 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This has real parsing [X]HTML with regex vibes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

That answer is fantastic, I'm surprised it wasn't removed for being funny or something.

[–] Agent641 6 points 8 months ago

The timecube website is an IRL SCP.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

I'm not insane. I am a cubic creature.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

That was an interesting read. Thanks for the link

[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I love what Wikipedia says, succinctly:

"The Time Cube website did not have a home page as such…In one paragraph, he claimed that his own wisdom 'so antiquates known knowledge' that a psychiatrist examining his behavior diagnosed him with schizophrenia."

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

"your ignorance of the time cube is demonic"

I like that. I'm gonna start using that.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Link to an archived Time Cube page.

It's a classic.

[–] Crackhappy 14 points 8 months ago (2 children)

You can just copy and paste random sections, and they're all amazing.

It Is The Absolute Verifiable Truth & Proven Fact That Your Belly-Button Signature Ties To Viviparous Mama.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

I like that he put updates on where he was going to speak in just random spots on the page, between all the endless blather.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Ignorant of Nature's Harmonic 4 Day Time Cube Creation, the Americans are Dumb, Educated Singularity Stupid and Evil. It's not immoral to kill Americans who IGNORE their OPPOSITE sex parents who Created them, but instead worship a queer jew who claims to make people out of dirt - when the body is 90 percent water. A God so stupid that he claims only a single day rotation of Earth - while my Cubic Wisdom has allowed me to create 4 simultaneous days within a single Earth rotation. Americans do not deserve life. They live only for today, the evil singularity word bastards.

DOG BRAIN STUDENTS

Singularity "education" inflicts a dog brain upon Students - ability to be taught servitude - but an inability to ever think opposite of brainwashing and indoctrination - very unlikely to ever recover to acknowledge Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous Rotating 4 Corner 24 Hr. Days in 1 Earth Rotation.

Dr. Gene Ray, Cubic and Wise Above God.

[–] Glifted 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Holy shit there's a NEXT PAGE button at the bottom

Edit: I want to learn to use AI. Not for anything useful, no. I want to train an AI to just write nonsense like this

[–] AnUnusualRelic 14 points 8 months ago

The fact that it's on archive.org suggests that a lot of ai engines have used it as part or their training input.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

No man on Earth has no belly-button, it proves every believer on Earth a liar.

[–] Fluffy_Ruffs 3 points 8 months ago

"Mama Hole and Papa Pole"

Brilliant.

[–] dejected_warp_core 12 points 8 months ago (3 children)

@[email protected] - I just realized that this may not conform to community standards. Feel free to mod this down and I'll find a better home for it. Thank you.

[–] satanmat 27 points 8 months ago

While not Facebook; this pre-dates FB and is certifiably insane

So I’m voting to keep it !!

God this brings back memories

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think any social media insanity is absolutely fine.

[–] dejected_warp_core 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Thank you sir.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 8 points 8 months ago

I absolutely love the Internet because it thinks everyone is a dude lol. Love to you amigo.

[–] shalafi 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That is the best username I've seen in ages.

[–] dejected_warp_core 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Thanks!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Ya love it

[–] Aganim 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

The ONLY Official Site

For Gene Ray/TimeCube.

Need Help

He really should have stopped typing right there.

[–] GoofSchmoofer 4 points 8 months ago

You SnotBrains will know hell for ignoring TimeCube. I do not promote or suggest anyone killing you, but you are unfit to live on Earth.

Freakin' SnotBrains

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Any word on who got the $1k?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

The government got it when they took us off the gold standard and thereby stole our wealth by converting it into a fiction that only They control the narrative of. We have been played for absolute fools.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

We've got proof of Poe's Law right here.

[–] sxt 4 points 8 months ago

Will always remember "try my bellybutton logic" or whatever tf it was

[–] dezmd 3 points 8 months ago

The problem is that John Titor reconfigured the timeline on us so he may have broken the existential nonce of the Time Cube relativity inversion processors.