this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2024
278 points (97.3% liked)

Not The Onion

12543 readers
1226 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 18 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 70 points 9 months ago

Hey. Do you remember when there was a subreddit called punchable faces?

[–] [email protected] 57 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"It’s a little bit of an unfortunate situation there, but from Israel’s perspective I would do my best to move the people out and then clean it up,” Kushner said. “But I don’t think that Israel has stated that they don’t want the people to move back there afterwards.”

The little rat thinks the genocide isn't going far enough.

[–] NounsAndWords 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/28/opinion/editorials/jared-kushner-middle-east-palestinian.html

From 2019, the entire 'plan' has been to build up real estate which will immediately solve all problems (I assume they think through gentrification).

What happens next is anybody’s guess. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo admitted in a recent closed-door meeting with Jewish leaders that the plan may be “unexecutable.” But if Mr. Kushner can mobilize powerful investors and international businesses as cheerleaders for Mideast peace, he could make a real contribution.

[–] SmackemWittadic 9 points 9 months ago

What an utter sack of shit

[–] hperrin 44 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Trump's property is valuable. Does that mean we can bomb Trump and take it?

[–] FuglyDuck 22 points 9 months ago

Trump’s property isn’t that valuable.

So that’s no, on the bombing. The taking… oh, it’s about to start….

[–] RainfallSonata 5 points 9 months ago

NY AG is about to take it anyway, no bombing required. Win-win!

[–] blackfire 36 points 9 months ago

The man is a ghoul wrapped in skin.

[–] mPony 24 points 9 months ago

This just in... Sources state that Jared Kushner's kidneys, liver, and spleen "could be very valuable" on the black market.
Sadly, his heart was deemed unfit for transplant.

[–] Linkerbaan 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

After saying "there's not much left of Gaza anyway"

So interesting how Zionists were saying israel isn't systematically bombing every house in Gaza. And now "there's nothing left so might as well take the land over". If only we had signs that this was the plan all along

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

Once again, saying the quiet part out loud.

[–] FlashMobOfOne 9 points 9 months ago

The really sad thing is he's not wrong.

No country seems willing to try and force real change here, and given how barbaric the US has shown itself to be on the world stage, it's hard to blame them for their reticence to act.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

I can only imagine the conversion:

PR Manager: Jared, you need to say something nice about Gaza.

Jared: WaTeRfRoNt PrOpErTy CoUlD bE vErY vAlUaBle!

PR: facepalm