this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2024
1270 points (98.5% liked)

Programmer Humor

19817 readers
144 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 137 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (53 children)

Rust is more like: unless you can mathematically prove to me that this is equivalent to a nut there is no ducking way I'll ever let you compiled this.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

And hot take, but that's good. I'm absolutely stupid enough for idiot gloves like that.

load more comments (52 replies)
[–] [email protected] 123 points 9 months ago (4 children)

StackOverflow: Question closed as duplicate. Someone else already asked whether or not something is a nut.

[–] Ironfacebuster 50 points 9 months ago

"Question closed as duplicate"

The question it's a duplicate of: "How to programmatically prove a hotdog is a sandwich?"

[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

How long to hard-boil an egg?

Seriously, i just googled how much energy would be needed to put 1Kg in LEO. Ofc there's a StakOverflow to it asking the same question and none of 4 answers answer the question and one is like "This seems like a complicated way of doing it. Instead of asking the minimum energy...".

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (1 children)

1 answer: use the fucking search

[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago

First search result brings you to this answer.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago

"It's 2024! Why are people still trying to classify nuts? Just use some expensive cloud solution that doesn't really solve your problem"

[–] [email protected] 114 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Java: "Sorry, but the developers of Peanut didn't declare it to implement the Crackable interface, even though it has all the relevant methods, so if you want to treat it like a nut your choices are write a wrapper class or call those methods using Reflections"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Swift’s extensions system has spoiled me, and I feel the pain of this whenever I have to write Java

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

You should take a look at kotlin, pretty similar to swift and fully interoperable with java.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AeonFelis 97 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

C# should actually be "What Java said, except it's ICrackable".

[–] [email protected] 37 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No, actually C#'s answer should be: "What Java said - hold on, what Python said sounds good too, and C++'s stuff is pretty cool too - let's go with all of the above."

C#, or as I like to call it "the Borg of programming languages".

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (5 children)

I got my first software developer role last year and it was the first time I’d written C#, I was more TypeScript. Now we use both but I must say I really like C# now that I’m used to it.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Would the equivalent Rust trait be Crack?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I am static_casting the nut_t*. Pray I don't static_cast it any further.

[–] corroded 16 points 9 months ago

reinterpret_cast<int*>(&a_nut)

I like to live dangerously.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

In Java, it's not called the Crackable interface.

It's the Nuttable interface.

[–] Benaaasaaas 40 points 9 months ago

Actually it's AbstractNutAndShellsFactory

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] bruhduh 40 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (5 children)

C can STRUCTurise classes tho

[–] NoFun4You 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I want my vs code to look like this

[–] bruhduh 24 points 9 months ago
[–] umbraroze 17 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Yeah, you can technically write object oriented code in C. Or any other language. Just that actual OOP languages provide a nicer syntax and compile time checks.

Rust is kind of a good example of this. It's technically not an object oriented language, but the trait system brings it close.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 9 months ago

Ruby: No, it has been redefined as the number 5 so buckle your seatbelts, kiddos, cuz shit's about to get wild!

[–] CosmicCleric 29 points 9 months ago

"What Java said."

Okay, that one made me chuckle.

[–] riodoro1 25 points 9 months ago (7 children)

All those memes picturing C++ as unsafe and unstable yet the server that serves these memes is running mostly C/C++ and has an uptime of months.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Lemmy is written in Rust. There might be bits of C at the periphery behind bindings.

[–] riodoro1 22 points 9 months ago (4 children)

And linux is written in C.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Predominantly C. But even the kernel is beginning to use Rust as a way of avoiding entire classes of programming error.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

True, but that's partly because the Linux is beyond mature, and you can ferret out a lot of bugs with millions of users over decades.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Also they're always treating C++ like it's some arcane enterprise variant that uses 1990s C++

Using modern C++ you can write much cleaner, more usable, and really safe code

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Deestan 22 points 9 months ago

Excel: 12th of Nutuary 1970

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

C++: Nuh, uh ...

template <typename T>
concept Crackable = requires(T obj) {
    { obj.crack() };
};

auto crack(Crackable auto& nut) {
    nut.crack();
}
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

I just dabbled in javascript again, and that description is spot on!

console.log('javascript operators are b' + 'a' + + 'a' + 'a');

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

The only reason people use JS is because it's the defacto language of browsers. As a language it's dogshit filled with all kinds of unpleasant traps.

Here is a fun one I discovered the other day:

new Date('2022-10-9').toUTCString() === 'Sat, 08 Oct 2022 23:00:00 GMT'
new Date('2022-10-09').toUTCString() === 'Sun, 09 Oct 2022 00:00:00 GMT'

So padding a day of the month with a 0 or not changes the result by 1 hour. Every browser does the same so I assume this is a legacy thing. It's supposed to be padded but any sane language would throw an exception if it was malformed. Not JavaScript.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Ce n'est pas une cacahuète

load more comments
view more: next ›