this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2024
622 points (97.7% liked)

Atheist Memes

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top 37 comments
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[–] [email protected] 70 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm a good parent but a goat is a goat

[–] RampageDon 18 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Goats are cheaper than children

[–] ThePantser 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And they do a better job keeping the lawn mowed.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And although they can bite, at least they don't talk back (at least in an intelligent language that you can understand)

[–] atx_aquarian 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They might not talk, but they sure can send a message.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

The next thing you know is news headlines:

Goats invented telepathy

[–] BlackArtist 4 points 10 months ago

But are they cheaper than kids?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

And make better cheese.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I showed this to my daughter and she said that I can barely manage a cat

Can I sell back the goats for another daughter?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No but you can sell her for another cat.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago
[–] afraid_of_zombies 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You could but you know inflation and something something in this economy and surging pricing...point is it's going to be at least twenty percent more goats.

[–] fkn 6 points 10 months ago

Or 20% less child...

I don't know if this means the child is younger... Missing more limbs or older...

[–] surewhynotlem 32 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] ChicoSuave 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Is that how you measure children?

[–] GunValkyrie 25 points 10 months ago

It's how he measures goats. Keep up.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Young goats are called "kids."

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Give the horny mob your daughters so they keep away from the visiting angels.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

But they should write an IOU for you to claim the goats later

[–] afraid_of_zombies 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ok purely hypothetical here: how many goats are we talking about?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice 10 points 10 months ago

5 male goats, 1 male and one female, or two female goats. Your pick

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

At least maybe then I'd get some help taking care of the lawn.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

"We've been unable to hire staff for our diner at minimum wage because nobody wants to work anymore. How many goats for two waitresses and a dishwasher?"

[–] Mango 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

WTB goats. Seems like a good investment.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Especially since you can always make more daughters, goats on the other hand require goats to begin with. Also they don't complain when you tell them to go outside and mow the lawn.

[–] Mango 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Besides, who ever said humans are better than goats? The goats don't complain. Also I can multiply them and trade for teenage girls!

[–] afraid_of_zombies 8 points 10 months ago

Also when goats get too old you can just have a BBQ and feed them to your teenage girls, but just trying to doing it once the other way around and suddenly you are the bad guy.

[–] profdc9 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

The going rate in goats for a teenage bride is pretty expensive these days though. Don't ask me how I know.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’d like to know what the going rate is.

[–] dojan 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

About eight goats and a wheel of cheese.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago
[–] afraid_of_zombies 3 points 10 months ago

I am never going to hear the words wheel of cheese again without thinking about Townton

[–] Blue_Morpho 8 points 10 months ago
[–] Got_Bent 6 points 10 months ago

Hmmm... I've been struggling to get in touch with last year's lawn service. Goats could indeed come in handy.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 6 points 10 months ago

TIL, early Christians were just Libertarians.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

That girl looks in her 20's