Personally I don't regard showering with my partner as particularly sexually exciting but more as a way to enjoy intimacy and being close and vulnerable with one another.
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
32 points (90.0% liked)
Unpopular Opinion
6418 readers
79 users here now
Welcome to the Unpopular Opinion community!
How voting works:
Vote the opposite of the norm.
If you agree that the opinion is unpopular give it an arrow up. If it's something that's widely accepted, give it an arrow down.
Guidelines:
Tag your post, if possible (not required)
- If your post is a "General" unpopular opinion, start the subject with [GENERAL].
- If it is a Lemmy-specific unpopular opinion, start it with [LEMMY].
Rules:
1. NO POLITICS
Politics is everywhere. Let's make this about [general] and [lemmy] - specific topics, and keep politics out of it.
2. Be civil.
Disagreements happen, but that doesn’t provide the right to personally attack others. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Please also refrain from gatekeeping others' opinions.
3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.
Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.
4. Shitposts and memes are allowed but...
Only until they prove to be a problem. They can and will be removed at moderator discretion.
5. No trolling.
This shouldn't need an explanation. If your post or comment is made just to get a rise with no real value, it will be removed. You do this too often, you will get a vacation to touch grass, away from this community for 1 or more days. Repeat offenses will result in a perma-ban.
Instance-wide rules always apply. https://legal.lemmy.world/tos/
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
As a bald guy, my showers are pretty darn fast. Abrasive scrub with my fancy soap all over within 5 minutes on the usual, add 5 minutes about once or twice a week for shaving. When I shower with someone else they usually have a lot more involved with their shower and I'm out before they really get started.
I mean, I'm definitely not opposed to showering with a significant other, but I usually let them know that it's not going to be what they think it will be lol
There's also intent to think about. Are we getting clean at the same time, or is it romantic? I'm out in 5 minutes also, if we're getting clean. But if you want romance make sure I know and I can slow down and enjoy the time too.
Entirely about intent! I HAVE dated someone that just wanted some us time even if not physical, then I'd hop out and dry off but hang around while they did the rest of their shower
It works out better as a "post workout routine" kinda thing for me. It's cramped and slippery compared to just about any other location available, and generally one person is getting warm shower water while the other is out in the cold. My ex had a hard time breathing with the steam and would get lightheaded as well.
I think it's more an early relationship things until both parties learn all the inconveniences. Or maybe I'm just getting older and saltier... 😁
Good way to get rid of that saltiness.
Take a shower 😂
Not my thing either. I feel you.
Recommended: join the shower halfway or 3/4 of the way through. Kind of a “passing in the hall” sort of thing.
You gotta lean into it.
You don't scrub their back and otherwise just stand/sit there.
You bathe your partner while they bathe you. Yes, including the "dirty" bits. Yeah, you may need to go back and get spots that get missed because you can only get so good when going by feel until you have a lot of practice, but it isn't that difficult; I was giving baths to elderly patients when I was 17, and teenagers are all idiots (I was no exception).
Seriously, just lather up the scrubber, washcloth, or whatever y'all use, and wash them. ENJOY that shit! You're rubbing your sexy, wet, and loving partner. You very to touch every inch of them, as you scrub and rinse. For delicate places, you use your hands and gentle pressure (unless they like a harder scrubbing, but soap and genitalia isn't a good combination. Yes, really, I washed people for a living, their skin health was my responsibility. You don't need soap on your junk to get it clean, and most soap is too harsh for genital use).
And, yes, that also means you get in that crack and wash their butthole. Just get in there and have some fun with it!
If you're with someone, and you can't have fun when you shower together, there's something fundamentally broken in the relationship that needs working on. It's about intimacy, spending time taking care of each other, and enjoying each other's bodies. It doesn't have to be sexual, though there's nothing wrong with it being so.
The problem with bathing together is usually that most showers aren't built where both parties can be under the water at the same time. This can leave one person cold. But, if you're touching and scrubbing the person that isn't under the water, theft aren't likely to get very cold. And they possibly won't even notice if they did.
Even if it's every day, or you're just doing a fast shower, it's entirely possible to make it work and not be an impediment to getting clean and getting out.