this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] wellee 114 points 8 months ago (3 children)

You could move out of your mother's basement

[–] [email protected] 40 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 8 months ago

not in this economy

[–] Diplomjodler3 6 points 8 months ago

That's crazy talk!

[–] [email protected] 77 points 8 months ago (7 children)

Save up, go on a nice holiday overseas.

Save up, buy a house.

Take up a new expensive hobby like cycling or photography.

Donate to charity.

Donate to worthy political causes.

Get a dopamine hit from seeing number go up.

So many options.

[–] Omgarm 76 points 8 months ago

Fund a random Twitch streamer's life while you stay at home doing nothing.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox 7 points 8 months ago

Put money into retirement.

On average people need over $1,000,000 in it to retire comfortably now.

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[–] rustyfish 67 points 8 months ago (5 children)

Start playing Magic. Your money will go POOF in no time.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago (2 children)

See also: 40k minis, aka plastic crack.

[–] RobertOwnageJunior 8 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Alternatively DnD minis, they are mostly cheaper, so you can buy even more!

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I've been in this situation.

Get married to a single mom and you'll be broke again in less than a year and in debt the next. That's the quickest way to lose all of your money.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago

Didn't go the single mom route, but a wife and kids takes care of the free time and money problem.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Max 401k, Roth IRA, and HSA contributions. Buy a fleshlight.

[–] grue 19 points 8 months ago (3 children)

There are way too many comments in this thread for it to be okay that yours is the only one mentioning investing for retirement.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Just goes to show you how few of your peers are actually saving for retirement

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Don't forget the kids' 529

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

I don't think Anon will have to worry about that one...

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Could even pay for porn at that point, crazy!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

I'm all for it.

Support ethical porn sites that meet their actresses and actors with the respect they deserve.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago

If you are young and there's nothing you really want to do with a significant amount of money, your emergency savings are decently big, and you don't intend to make a significant purchase in the near to mid future, then you find yourself a tax-free retirement account, a world index fund and an S&P 500 index fund and distribute money across them with the priority being reaching whatever is the max in the first one

[–] Kraivo 29 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Depends on character traits of anon.

Some invest/gamble

Some hoard wealth

Some uses it fight boredom like going to places, travelling, hobbies, etc.

Some try sharing with others or straight up doing charities

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[–] fury 24 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)
  • Save an emergency fund of 6-12 months of expenses. You never know when the rug will get pulled out from under you.
  • Pay off all debts.
  • Save at least 15% of income into retirement accounts (not counting any matches).
  • Give to charity or random internet persons.
  • Buy a house.
  • Pay it off.
  • Max all retirement accounts, invest in some mutual funds, give more.
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[–] RealFknNito 21 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Invest it until you can quit job. The old people call that retiring.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Unironically anon has cracked the big secret of capitalism; the end goal doesn't matter until someone is trying to steal it from you, and they will try because some people are sick in the head

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

the big secret is that money is not the end goal. money is merely a tool to let you do other things you want to do. it's not an end, just a means.

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[–] DoomBot5 19 points 8 months ago

Vacations, where every trip costs like a mid range gaming pc.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago

Send me $400 to buy a telescope lmao

[–] jaybone 15 points 8 months ago

Buy some more avocado toast?

[–] Blackmist 12 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Buy a house and stop mooching off your parents?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

I bought a house and my parents moved back in with me.

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[–] Evotech 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

We are sunsetting Google House in accordance with our wider goal of shutting down everything. You will be evicted on march 2nd, 2024 and all buildings will be demolished between march 31 and june 1st. Thank you for being with us for this project!

Why god?

We launched Google House 7 years ago as an attempt to make shareholders think we are still capable of doing something useful. As we focus on making new short-lived products to perpetuate this lie, we no longer have the resources to maintain our rent collection system.

What will you do with the land?

We didn't think this far but the current plan is to leave them as gravel sanctuaries.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

holy hell. I'll never afford

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

People when you tell them about saving your money

[–] Etterra 11 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Give some of it to poor people. Being disabled in this country sucks.

[–] franklin 22 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Use the money to lobby politicans to pass social assistance for the disabled

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[–] datelmd5sum 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Well, life keeps kicking me in the balls and I currently need about $5000 to get back on track thanks.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Donate to Lemmy :)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Travel around.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Enjoy the fact that there’s more and more money in your bank account? I personally find solace in that fact.

[–] unreasonabro 7 points 8 months ago

Dildo collection

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

House Car Vacations Retirement

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