this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 146 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I beat the captain of my high school's chess team and he just yelled at me "I only lost because you don't know anything." I guess he wasn't aware of the Frenchman's Cumsock. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

[–] Dozzi92 46 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I played hockey and was by no means good, but had a friend who was a good goalie, and said it was always tough with the less good players because you couldn't cheat them at all, because even they had no idea where the puck was going.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Doesn't work like that in chess though. If you lose, that's on you.

[–] CodexArcanum 91 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It took me many years before I got back to where I could enjoy chess and similar games as just fun things to pass time. For a long while, I didn't find games fun when I knew they had been "solved." It didn't matter whether I personally could memorize and execute on that knowledge.

This applied to video games too. If there was a perfect build or an optimal meta or a flawless strategy, the mere existence of it ruined the game for me. It seemed pointless to work on getting better when "perfect" had been achieved.

I think playing a lot of competitive fighting games helped. Realizing that "optimal" didn't always mean flawless execution, and that there's still fun just in seeing what you can train yourself to be capable of doing. It actually helped me a lot in understanding that if a game is fun, then that's what matters, the fun. Strategy and optimizing and "the meta" can be part of the fun, but if they aren't then ignore them, play at your level, and keep finding the fun.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (7 children)

For a long while, I didn't find games fun when I knew they had been "solved."

Chess is not a solved game.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Part of the reason why I can't get into Rubik's cubes, and it also lingers in the back of my mind with puzzles like sudoku or minesweeper.

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[–] [email protected] 69 points 11 months ago (3 children)

The beauty of chess is that there's always something new to discover, like the Bongcloud Attack.

[–] FlyingSquid 19 points 11 months ago (4 children)

The Bongcloud Attack (or Bongcloud Opening) is an irregular chess opening that consists of the moves:

1. e4 e5
  1. Ke2?

It is considered a joke opening and is associated with internet chess humor.

And I laughed and laughed. Ke2? How delightfully absurd!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Just read this on Wikipedia. It's great!

On 15 March 2021, Magnus Carlsen, playing white, led with the Bongcloud in a game against Nakamura at the Magnus Carlsen Invitational. Nakamura mirrored the opening with 2...Ke7, leading to a position nicknamed the Double Bongcloud.[2] The game was intentionally drawn by threefold repetition after the players immediately repeated moves, the particular sequence they used known as the "Hotbox Variation".

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[–] problematicPanther 6 points 11 months ago

Bongcloud works because of how stupid it is. Your opponent doesn't know how to respond.

[–] Donkter 5 points 11 months ago

Idk, a lot of pros talk about how boring chess gets at a certain level. Lots of lines are solved so deep that going to tournaments can mean learning who your opponents are, studying as many of the openings that you know they play as deeply as possible and hoping that you guessed the right openings and that they prepared the wrong ones against you.

Things like the bongcloud work once, when no one at a tournament has seen it before, then it gets solved and playing it is only ever a disadvantage again. It can work in things like rapid chess or whatever when it's used to throw people off guard.

[–] Gigan 36 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Just play against people at the same skill level

[–] SpaceNoodle 85 points 11 months ago (4 children)

But they don't let me near the ten-year-olds any more

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (4 children)

The last time I played chess it was against a ten year old and I got my ass whooped.

Is there a chess league for babies I could join?

[–] Viking_Hippie 9 points 11 months ago

Still too high level for my chess abilities. Is there an amoeba league?

[–] SpaceNoodle 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I just wanna put on a pair of boots and stomp around in a room full of helpless babies, is that too much to ask?

[–] FlyingSquid 5 points 11 months ago

You just want to waste food and I'm disappointed in you.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

ΰ² _ΰ² 

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[–] Xanis 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Some time ago I reached a point in Chess where I could go toe-to-toe with National Masters. It was around that time when I realized the game, while still tactically based, became more about assorted memorization of patterns. I still enjoy playing, yet my love was for the puzzle and finding a way my opponent hadn't yet seen. That knowledge, and my natural desire to continue improving, actually eroded my desire to continue, and I fell off since.

Just the way it is, and it isn't even really about winning; it's about my own reason to improve. That end goal just seems so...predefined.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

You are in good company (of sorts). Magnus Carlsen got tired of that level of memorization/preparation, so decided to not defend his world championship. He now plays WILD chess, that does not require memorization. He forces players out of their preparation. He loves the tactical side, and is attempting to force it.

[–] EfreetSK 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

My problem is that there is very limited amount of such people :/ People either don't or can't play chess or are really into it.

And of course there is always this one guy/gal who's like "Let's play, you'll probably beat me because I'm really rookie el oh el. Yeah I'm in local chess club but there are much better players than me. It's true that this one time I finished second in that chess championship but ..."

[–] Gigan 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

There has to be some online chess simulators that match opponents based on skill-level. Playing IRL might be tougher to find, but if you're in school I would look for chess clubs there.

[–] Viking_Hippie 6 points 11 months ago

There has to be some online chess simulators that match opponents based on skill-level.

Tried one of those once. It just opened Minesweeper for me.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Stamets 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Holy crap I’m dying over here 🀣

[–] FlyingSquid 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I joined chess club in middle school. I lost my first game in two moves.

I didn't go back to chess club.

[–] Button777777 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ah, the "Fools mate". Rookie mistake! (/s i suck at chess)

[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That pretty much describes accurately how I felt, so maybe it should be called that.

[–] WoahWoah 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

There is a two-move checkmate that is called that, he wasn't making that one up. 😊

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The frenchman's cumsock is a classic move, or at least it should be. Although I find chess interesting (as a concept) I completely suck at playing it, so much so that I could be the frenchman in question. Growing up, whenever I played my older brother he'd always know how to beat me in 4 or 5 moves. I'm much better at solitaire games, though there's a version of solitaire chess I'd like to try.

[–] Stamets 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I could never understand that gambit. People keep playing this move but I'm just like "How do I be the sock?"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

The classic move involves tipping the chessboard out the nearest window and then leaping into your opponent's unguarded lap before he realizes what's going on. Isn't the object of the game the first to be able to "mate" the other?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (5 children)

It's like playing Smash Bros. You only play with people at your skill level. That one friend who likes the game a little too much and watches competitive events? Yeah, you're not going to have fun playing against them. Just play with other people who don't really know what they're doing, and maybe consider throwing items on to even out skill with randomness (someone needs to invent random item drops for chess).

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

This is why I think Go is actually significantly more approachable than chess. With chess, you really need someone of very similar level; if one of you is a little better, that person will almost always win, and that's often kinda boring for both of you. But Go has a handicapping system built in that makes it way more forgiving of differences in skill, so that you can both play a pretty challenging game. I think it's contributed a lot to the culture around the game being more open and focused on teaching others, too.

That said, there are still a lot of things that high-level players memorize. But it seems like there are a lot more folks just playing for the joy of the game, and at the low levels, those folks will often outplay those who get very into the memorization too early.

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[–] Blaster_M 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"Hey guys, I have an idea! Let's play Smash Bros with items on! I got my Wiimote!"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I refuse to play against those sweaty final destination no items 1v1 people. I went with my girlfriend to one of her friend birthday party and they pulled up smash, I was sorta excited because there were like 8 controllers and a bunch of people who wanted to play aaaaand fucking 1v1 final destination no items. I just politely refused to play even though apparently my girlfriend had been talking me up as a pretty good gamer. I just want to have casual fun, I have enough salt and sweat ranking in league.

[–] TheIllustrativeMan 6 points 11 months ago

You start with a piece handicap. It's interesting for both because it makes it competitive, but also completely destroys the better player's knowledge base because they're missing important pieces, making it more about intuition.

I play this way with a friend that I'm like a thousand points higher rated than. With a rook+knight handicap, it's very competitive, we probably each win about half the time.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

To be fair Frenchman's cumsock is a winning play in 87% of chess matches

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Kind of also something that changed with the advent of the internet.

Chess was popular for most of its history as a game where you basically only got better by playing and genuinely trying to work out better strategies. At best, you had some chess club or a book at hand.

Now, you could spend every day just reading up on different strategies and counters, and there'd still be someone more serious about it.

I guess, on the flipside, that makes it easier to not take it as serious anymore and we have ELO-based match-up systems now as well, so you'll more easily find someone on your level.

[–] FlyingSquid 5 points 11 months ago

we have ELO-based match-up systems

I don't know, they look a little mismatched what with all the different instruments.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Really dude. I love chess, I used to play with my grandfather when I was like 8. So I have too good of a grip for most of my friends to want to play, but I'm not playing like it's a job to compete with people who read chess websites.

[–] Lifecoach5000 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

That’s why you gotta stay solid and either go for the Jerome or the Bongcloud. Best 2 openings for beginners IMO.

[–] SkyezOpen 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A while ago I was grinding through the ranks of bots on an app and would only go to the next level when I could smash the current bot opening with bongcloud.

[–] blubton 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Someone from my local chess club has an account on Lichess where he only uses Bongcloud-like openings. He has reached a rating of over 2000 and crushed some 2200's (that's almost professional level for those who aren't familiar with ratings).

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I joined a Chess Federation sponsored chess club in Omaha in my late 20s. Nothing is more humbling than getting beat by a 12-year-old.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago
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