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What's a common occurrence in your hobby that you think shouldn't be? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 2 months ago by erev to c/asklemmy

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For me it's driving while under the influence. If you couldn't tell, I like me some ganja. However I have long since held the belief that it is utterly insane to drive while under the influence of most substances, with maybe nicotine and caffeine being the exception. All too often I see other stoners smoking and driving, which I simply can't fathom. I've only operated a vehicle once under the influence and it was just to move a U-Haul around the block to a different parking spot, which was such a scary experience while high that I refuse to even consider getting behind the wheel again while high.

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[–] captainlezbian 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That shit’s a problem for sure, but often the community weeds out dominant men who mistreat submissive women. That’s not to say we don’t have broken stairs and whatnot, I run a women’s group, it’s a problem for sure. But in my experience that aggressive of misogyny in such contexts is far more present in online spaces than reputable irl ones.

The area I see it most manifested is in the way dominant women are treated by men, both dominant and submissive. There are dominant men who love and respect submissive women but just struggle to treat dominant women as their equals. And on the flip side a lot of men who submit to women have a lot of hang ups about it and many treat them as sex objects.

There’s also still a problem with people assuming men are dominant (especially if they’re charismatic and/or handsome) and that women are submissive (especially if they’re small, shy, or feminine).

At least that’s what I’ve noticed as a woman who submits to women

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thanks for clarifying. I can't say I've personally seen that to any great degree, but to be fair my experience was more of a toe dip. I can certainly see that being the case.

[–] captainlezbian 3 points 2 months ago

Yeah there’s definitely a thing where a local community in a good state doesn’t have as much of it, (though it will often exist) but when things get disrupted more can seep through. It’s been on my mind lately as I’ve been befriending a Domme that’s very new to all of this and her experiences are really elucidating the patterns I’ve seen glimpses of, but thought were more of online problems.