Ask Lemmy

Perhaps ironically to the title of this question, the most manipulative thing ever done to me might be to lower the bar of what counts as "manipulative", enough they can accuse me of doing it, and then talk about it as a part of their hate for me for years on end. When I hear the word, I think of a myriad of different parts and pieces that make up the modus operandi of what many might call a manipulative person. I might be unconventional if it helps somehow, but I'd never betray what could be called courtesy. This is in contrast to many people who dislike me and would point to me and say doing so much as going by a different nickname (my full birth name has many variants) depending on the setting I'm in falls under the wholly "manipulative" umbrella, and these are the same people who are known to go so far as reverse an account of what happened when needed, saying that I in turn am not to be trusted with the privilege of making a case for myself in the way courts are designed because they say privately to those who they want to cut off from me that it's me who would do that or would rig the game through aggression or psychology, which becomes more frustrating when I am the side with better proof, proof which, even if undeniable and even if situated right before their eyes, they will deny the existence or validation of, either because of everything I mentioned or because of such a large humanly innate hatred towards some real or perceived aspect about me that they will consider me inherently and irreversibly uncredible. Which in turn forces me to be more unconventional as the conventions have been rigged, which in turn feeds into the perception more that I fall under the "manipulative" umbrella, ad infinitum, with them often saying I am the grand exception to "you all are valid" or "everyone has value" as a result of all of this.

This has been going on for a decade, since before I was even an adult, sometimes in school/society/communicating with others. With me as well with the few people I consider permanently close to me, sometimes by contagion or sometimes because they think they are coordinated or synonymous with me. I have self-reflected a lot as a result, and ironically, in response to this self-reflection, those who criticize me (or those who don't as of then-yet) criticize me more saying I've become cold and calculating because the self-reflection has given what I do more of a mind and less of an intuition. When I seek console, I predominantly either get those in similar issues who nevertheless, or I get those who to my face offer "tough love" words but then are spoken to by the adversaries, right before, almost comically (in a tragic way) on a routine basis, devote undying loyalty to them based on their implied promises, as if they hadn't just told me it was nobody's business and used this as a basis to simply shoo my worries, with me saying to those who say it builds character that, if immorality builds morality, it is any wonder you value morality in the first place. They say trying to be the game changer opens people up, and to be the change I wish to be in the world, but I have tried being the better woman whenever someone is blind to the idea that they might be called to help others such as me in a similar situation to them, and they never open up, with the few individuals who have been by my side falling victim to divide and conquer, with many of them having psychological dilemmas in life that makes them all incompatible with each other. And conversely, when I dismiss them and other forms of the downtrodden, who are accustomed more to tend for themselves, I am accused of being hypocritical, for if I am in a situation similar to theirs, why should I be justified in not being there for them or for saying their own parallel issues are not supported by me? Even apologetically accepting the aura of being looked down upon is perceived as grounds to be criticized, often with it being said "she doesn't even deny it, so she MUST be guilty", let alone asking what makes for good acceptance of responsibility. And so, while awaiting help to arrive that might never come, because common sense has revealed itself to be a greater disease than anything considered neurodivergent, I go it alone, all while being mocked for this, them saying that me going it alone means there must be a reason I have no companions.

TLDR: The most manipulative thing done to me is to cast me into how I imagine public relations in Hell is like, or a living version of it.