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How should I approach having relatively obscure points of lack of privilege? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 9 months ago by Fisherman75 to c/asklemmy

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I'm a 2 on the kinsey scale; people seem to think there is just gay, straight, and bi and are less exposed to the idea of a spectrum.
I'm passing white; part mesoamerican, always grew up knowing I was part native american then took two DNA tests and it was confirmed at least that I was part native mesoamerican.
I have always struggled with getting a handle on my gender and biological sex whether it was my year of identifying as nonbinary or people mistaking me for a female throughout my life or my body issues around whether I am feminine or masculine in one way or another; as I cover in another post I am currently trying to wrestle mentally and emotionally with my seemingly feminine pelvic bone despite being male assigned at birth.

These issues are obscure enough to be ignored by basically everyone, so with more conservative types I have to suffer gaslighting, covert and overt abuse, and interpersonal neglect, and with more 'liberal' types I have to suffer a different kind of rejection wherein it is denied that my issues qualify as oppression because there are simply limits to what any one liberal is educated on.

What are some good tips for dealing with this kind of life situation?

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

with more ‘liberal’ types I have to suffer a different kind of rejection wherein it is denied that my issues qualify as oppression because there are simply limits to what any one liberal is educated on.

For what it's worth, that's a very specific form of oppression that folk in similar positions uniquely have to deal with.

I'm a cis passing trans woman. People don't realise I'm trans unless I tell them, which means I don't deal with the overt transphobia many of my peers do. But I still deal with it when I come out to people, and when viewing the hate and bigotry that target us. I still internalise all of the crap that society flings at us, and unlike an actual cis person, my "privilege" can evaporate in an instant in some circumstances.

As for how you deal with it? The way I deal with it is to acknowledge that I do face less extreme bigotry than many of my peers. That is true, and it needs to be acknowledged when talking about my lived realities. Yet at the same time "less bigotry" isn't the same thing as "privilege". It's a discussion you can have with folk that are open to nuance, and it's not one you can have with folk who aren't, even when they're ostensibly allies. That is, unfortunately, part of the package :\