this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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National security officials are used to shaking off absurd conspiracy theories, but the latest rumor that’s gripped MAGA world just hits different.

The claims by Fox News and far-right influencers that pop star Taylor Swift is part of a Pentagon “psychological operation” to get President Joe Biden reelected, and somehow rig the Super Bowl to benefit Kansas City Chiefs tight end (and Swift’s boyfriend) Travis Kelce, has been met with forehead slaps in the national security world.

“The absurdity of it all boggles the mind,” said one senior administration official, granted anonymity because they were not authorized to comment publicly on the matter. “It feels like one of those ‘tell me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist, without telling me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist’ memes.”

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 9 months ago (4 children)
[–] EdibleFriend 59 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Fuck if I know dude. I thought we had hit a low with bush. Then we went and elected a black man and holy ever living fuck did that break right-wing people. Just absolutely broke their fragile little minds and here we are.

[–] Leviathan 28 points 9 months ago (2 children)

You guys need to elect a black man with a heavy inner-city accent who enacts serious change so you can break them all the way once and for all.

[–] SkippingRelax 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] Leviathan 21 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Fuck, if only! Or a gay black man who does drag as a hobby.

[–] MojoMcJojo 7 points 9 months ago

If they can negotiate on foreign policy and domestic policy, then they can work it.

[–] model_tar_gz 5 points 9 months ago

He smokes cannabis daily as he pardons himself with every puff.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ru Paul would be a terrible president.

[–] Leviathan 3 points 9 months ago

Disagree! Caffeine enema days could mean leaps and bounds in policy foreign and domestic!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago
[–] EdibleFriend 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I was about to make a joke about President Camacho but then, I remembered, that fucker, that HORRIBLE PARODY OF A PRESIDENT, is so much better then what we got with Trump. Camacho saw some serious shit was going on and said 'holy fuck lets let the smart guy fix this.'

He recognized and openly admitted to his own shortcomings.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] EdibleFriend 2 points 9 months ago

He gets my vote just for that bitchin trike

[–] cashews_best_nut 6 points 9 months ago (7 children)

So glad I'm not American. I can view all this like a reality TV show.

[–] Professorozone 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but... ummm...you're on the OTHER end of all our guns. No one is safe from our craziness.

[–] cashews_best_nut 4 points 9 months ago

Britain is effectively the 51st state so we're always behind your guns. :p

[–] Retrograde 12 points 9 months ago (3 children)

As a half Brit half American, Britain really hasn't been really pulling many Ws recently either

[–] cashews_best_nut 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Do you drink tea or throw it in your nearest harbour?

Say "colour"...

[–] Retrograde 2 points 9 months ago

It's paradoxical, I throw the tea and it just spins in place in mid air

Also it's obviously spelled C̴͉͎̘̱͙̙̣̱̜̲̖̎̂̋̔ȍ̶̻͕̬̞̰̫̙̩̯̤̳́͊̒̚͜ͅl̷̨̹̺̳͔͉͇͎̻̐̐͌̽̾̀̉͐̈́̆͗̎̚̕œ̸̢͉̜̽͛̅̚ư̸̪͍̂͐̀̀̍r̶͈̮̲͉̀̓̏̋̈́͑̌̔̽͊́͘͝͠

[–] cashews_best_nut 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Doesn't stop me being able to laugh at America. If you're half British you should know one of our defining traits is self-deprecation. Britains Ls are eternal and everlasting and I will laugh at them all. But Americas - oh fuck yeah. They gimme a hearty laugh too!

How does someone be half American? Where do you pledge your allegiance?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

I pledge my allegience to queen Frang and her mighty state of Hysteria

[–] Harbinger01173430 1 points 9 months ago

From which of the countries of great Britain ? 🧐

[–] theangryseal 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Until it reaches you in the form of a global economy collapse.

Of course, China could be the savior, but would that really be a win?

[–] cashews_best_nut -5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Why would I care about Chinese hegemony? Sinophobia is more of a Yank fear. I really couldn't give a shit.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

You should. We all need an at least semi-democratic country at the top. We need the non-democratic authoritarian kind of governance to be seen to fail. Again. If American fail, we need Europe to start punching it's weight even more. And unfortunately the crazy right (no doubt helped by enemies of freedom) is on the rise across Europe. Least in Britain, it looks like the nightmare might be over this election. It will take years to undo the economic and social damage they have done though.

Edit: English

[–] cashews_best_nut 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

enemies of freedom

Oh dear. :/

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Fine, I'll be explicit. Russia, China, etc. The authoritarian powers. They do want success democratic countries as it gives their citizens ideas.

[–] billwashere 5 points 9 months ago

Except if the Cheeto Benito starts some shit somewhere in the world due to his excellent diplomatic skills god forbid he gets elected again, pretty sure we are all in the shitter.

[–] Clubbing4198 4 points 9 months ago

until we drag the whole western world into a real fucking shit show. lets not forget how close tony blair and george w bush were when it came to handling iraq

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Yeah, except most reality TV is 99% made-up bullshit that just impacts nothing outside the “participants” and water cooler gossip.

Except Love on the Spectrum. Thats just wholesome AF.

[–] mods_are_assholes 5 points 9 months ago

40 years of crippled public education and a media landscape owned by the wealthy elites that use it to push anything to distract us from the fact that our greatest enemy are billionaires.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Are you even surprised by us anymore