this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
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[–] Fondots 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I'm 32, I've never really been one to rank my friends but there's a few I'd consider to be frontrunners

I have a guy I've been friends with since pre school, we sometimes forget to talk or hang out for months or occasionally years at a time, but always end up picking up right where we left off.

There's a handful of friends who I can always hit up to do something and if they're free they're always up for an adventure or to lend me a hand with whatever I'm working on.

There's of course my wife, which feels like a lame cop-out of an answer because of course my wife is my best friend

And there's my dog, which is even more of a kop-out.

An interesting thing that's happened this year is that probably about a half dozen people, both people I'd consider to be in the running for best friend, and ones who I wouldn't necessarily rank that high (not that I don't like them or think highly of them, just never quite thought of them that way) have told me how much they value my friendship, which I guess means I must be doing something right.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Do you have any kids ? I heard kids keep you busy so you'll never feel you need friends.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Kids are indeed a huge time/emotion/frustration sink that eat much of your life, and yet somehow still totally worth it.

But, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I don’t feel like I need friends. Children are very emotionally rewarding in a certain spectrum, but adult companionship is still a general need.

[–] Fondots 3 points 11 months ago

No kids here, never been my thing.

The thing with kids keeping you busy is that oftentimes friendships will tend to decay if you aren't able to keep up with them, and if you put too much time into your kids you may end up as an empty nester 20 or so years down the line having raised your kids to adulthood successfully, only to discover you don't have any friends left.

That kind of happened to my dad, I genuinely can't name anyone that I'd really call his friend. Luckily he's a bit of an introvert and my mom is sociable enough for the both of them, so I don't think he's exactly suffering for it, but it's weird to think of kind of having to start from scratch at 50+ years old going out and trying to make some friends.

For my part I do my damnedest to keep my friends with kids in the loop, but it gets hard sometimes, and to make it work I've had to drag along far more rugrats on hiking and fishing trips than I ever really cared to.

[–] cheese_greater 1 points 11 months ago

You can have some of mine, how would you like it?