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I did it just by myself. I just kept critiquing myself after a negative interaction and trying to figure out why I got angry or frustrated. I still give in to that anger once in a while but I've gotten better.
I learned it's easier for me to forgive when I've had proper sleep, actually. I also look at it from the other person's side and think of what problems that person is going through and excuse them for whatever is frustrating me.
It's easy to think of it like a shitty driver and getting angry at them. Why are they speeding? Could be a bathroom emergency. Could be meeting a loved one at the hospital. I don't know, so I'm not gonna judge.
This bit really is key.
Some of our emotions are legit. Sometimes someone really did try to screw you over or something. But a lot of times...our feelings are based on assumptions that aren't true, and when you pick at the emotion a bit you start to realize you assumed the wrong thing, or didn't consider something else.
So it's important to critique yourself, and think about what happened, and try to dig down into the true root of the situation, separate truth from fact.
I grew up in an abusive home and generally am laid-back so it's hard to get me angry. I had to learn that in my case, the anger I felt actually was valid and not just something I was blowing out of proportion--most people who talk a lot about anger are approaching from the other angle, and have to learn the opposite, that not everything is worth getting angry about.
But both of us, regardless of our "natural starting point", have to learn how to think about stuff that happened, and ask questions, and try to figure out what happened and why.
I speed because then I'm not stuck in the 7-9 over range with every other asshole. Trust me. 15 over is worth the ticket. You hit way more patches of open road on the interstate if you blast ahead of the snarls. I'm taking 20 miles on a 3 lane with no one in front of you. It's almost as nice as when everyone was dying from covid. The roads were so empty and stress free. We'll never get back to that paradise.
I wasn't like this before. This is one aspect of how my personality changed. Why do you care if I pass your 9-over ass? You shouldn't. I don't tailgate. I don't drive crazy. I'm just going to go fast enough that I don't get stuck behind every asshole that sets their cruise in the fast lane.