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How can I deal with not being able to help with other people's problems whom I care about? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 year ago by dingus to c/asklemmy

22 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hi all. Apologies if this isn't the right community for this type of question. Just let me know and I'll remove it.

Recently I've been struggling a bit. There are a few people in my life right know who I care deeply about. They are going through some very rough times right now. (Ex: money issues, sick relatives, etc.)

I am very frustrated because I hear about what's going on all the time and I am powerless to do anything to help. The advice I've had in the past is "just be a friend and be there for them," but there is only so far I am mentally and even physically able to go with that. All I want to do is to fix it and make it better for them but I can't.

And it's been making me go a bit crazy tbh. It's pretty narcissistic of me to be reacting this way, but I can't help it. I don't tell these people that I am stressed out because of them and I don't tell them that it is affecting me in any way. It's such an asshole move for me to be feeling this way but I just don't know how to get out of it.

I try to be nice and friendly all the time, but it's killing me. I just want to be able to help but I can't. I'm completely and totally powerless.

Surely there are those of you out there who care about others and have run into this issue before. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do? "Just be a friend" doesn't help my mental state or do anything for any of the issues that any of us have.

Thanks all.

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[–] Orionza -2 points 1 year ago

Is your life under your own control, all the time? Mine sure isn't. I'm a person of faith. I believe everything is our destiny, good and bad, for a reason. All is our test, and this world is a test for everyone, including you and your friends.

You are so kind and caring to want to help everyone fix their problems. We are supposed to help each other. But it's not our responsibility to fix others' unfixable problems. Heck, we can't even fix our own. Nothing in this world can fix some of our problems. Only a Higher Power can change it. We just take things one day at a time.

Your friends don't expect you to come in and fix their problems. You just being there for them is so good. Many people don't have that. The people around you are fortunate that you care so deeply.