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I might understand how you feel. Opening up is a good first step. But after that? I don't know. What steps to take and how long your path will be... no one knows.
Whenever anxiety tries to take controll of me... whenever i am angry at my own progress, i think about a little story:
A man takes a morning-walk on the beach. During the night there was a terrible storm, spreading tousands of seastars over the sand. He sees a woman trying to bring the seastars back to the water.
He walk up to her and asks: "why are you even doing this? You will just save a few, but the majority will die when the sun rises."
She bend down to pick one seastar up and throws it into the ocean. "Maybe. But this one i have saved."
Changing is hard and often feels pointless. The only thing we can do is doing things step by step.