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How do I avoid becoming a crotchety old man? I’m seriously asking. (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 year ago by yokonzo to c/asklemmy

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You know the type, probably a good father or worker, but serious faced all the time, never smiles, often in a bad mood, very cynical. It’s just I feel like I’m on the path to this, I’m 28, just escaped 12 years of food service so I’m already super cynical and if someone comes up to me, I’m super ready to shut down whatever’s about to happen. I feel like working with customers for years I’ve learned to have giant walls up and I can’t seem to remove them. I see the other guys in the factory I’m working at laughing and joking all the time, I think of myself as funny but it’s always deadpan humor and I wish I could genuinely smile and laugh and make friends with the other guys. Any old timers or well travelers out there have any advice?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I agree with @Bluefruit that therapy is invaluable if you get a good therapist (you might have to try a few; don't get discouraged). I think 80% (a number right from my ass) people could benefit from therapy (as opposed to 80% need therapy).

But also, some of it is just personality. I also don't smile easily with people who aren't close to me. I have trouble making jokes with people that don't know me intimately because my (also) deadpan humor is dark and absurdist. Only through knowing me intimately will it sound like a joke. A colleague once observed that he was starting to recognize my brand of humor six months into working together, which I found surprising at the time. Some of it you just accept as who you are.

Having been in CS positions at different times in my life, I realize that it can make a person dead inside. Hopefully, this isn't your situation. If it is, please work (however you find an ability to) to find a change. For me, it was witnessing a moment of truly astonishing empathy from someone that was a wakeup call. Best of luck!