Ask Lemmy
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It should try to grow larger than in currently is, but not try to be a top website.
Trying to do the latter will involve clashing with online legal regulations, politicians, and compliance to a much greater extent than is required now. Furthermore, it will be inundated with "normie" culture if it strives to be as popular. If you make it accessible to the lower common denominator, you get the lowest common denominator.
I think you're right. Having it as big as Reddit or other social media platforms wouldn't be good. But I would like to have most communities for medium populated hobbies to have a popular enough comminity that I can not use Reddit for it. Right now, even some relatively popular communities have no members and no post generation.