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Defederation might be a good thing, and I don't think we should assign a taboo to it.
What I believe, is it establishes a direct chain of responsibility. Instance owners are responsible for what thier users say and do on. This incentivises moderation, but unlike other systems, defederated instances don't cease to exist. In fact, they could thrive, and even mutually contribute to other instances. A new insurance could even preemptively defederate from instances they know won't gell well, allowing communities to build without facing threats of harassment.
I believe, it gives the opportunity for Lemmy users to create a diverse collection congruent communities. Not everything can, or should, be consolidated into one great house.
I don't think we should defederate, instance owners shouldn't be able to control what the users see. All this would accomplish would be a more centralized lemmy, which at that point why even federate.
I believe if you want to get around that issue, you can run your own instance?
I will do that when I can afford it.
From what I hear, for a tiny instance you can run it on a Raspberry Pi or a little $6 a month Digital Ocean VPS ☺️