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It’s a “poor waiter” because he is being forced to choose between two people who are both holding up their card trying to pay the bill.
It’s a thing in America and also in many other cultures. People, often men, gain status by paying for others. Then when there’s two men they like to battle with each other over who’s paying.
It’s similar to that thing with gift giving where you have to offer and refuse three times before a gift can be successfully transferred.
Because the waiter is the other side of the equation. He holds the power to choose.