this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025

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Has anyone here felt hopelessly disenfranchised with life and turned that around? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by j4k3 to c/asklemmy

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I'm especially interested in the disabled or people that have to rely on others for support, government or otherwise. Tell me your story if you are up for it. I don't care how old this post is, tell me anyways.

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[–] PlasticExistence 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Most definitely. I have autoimmune problems and a genetic heart condition. I went from working a decent job and having some financial security to being unemployed for 2.5+ years and taking money from my family so I could keep living - certainly not living well.

It got to a point where my chronic pain and other problems weighed on me so badly that I would immediately curse my existence the very moment I awoke in the morning. I hated that I didn’t die in my sleep.

Of course doctors weren’t helpful - under their care and instruction I actually got worse. The cost of this care also largely wiped out the savings I had. The rest of my savings were used to just stay alive because in no way was I fit for employment.

It is a years-long battle to get any kind of public assistance (yay USA!) because my problems are not typically classified as a disability even though they totally are.

A few specific things kept me alive and fighting:

My dog was basically my child, and as long as she was with me, I would stay alive and take care of her. I had a very deep bond with her. She was family. I’m not exaggerating when I say I wouldn’t be here today to type this message to you if not for her loving presence. I had her for 11 years. She died on New Years Day this year. Had I still been suffering the way I used to, I probably would’ve killed myself on the 2nd. Being without her this month has been awful, and I owe her my life.
I finally found a decent endocrinologist who helped me stabilize my hormonal problems. The others I went to actually made things worse and seemed not to have any understanding of why.
I discovered that responsibly taking kratom leaf powder drastically cut down on my chronic pain and helped in a lot of other ways. I have been taking it a couple times a day for over 3 years now (with some breaks here and there ). I’m no longer dependent on it just to function, but it’s still tremendously helpful.
I read a book by a back surgeon who also went through something similar with chronic pain and being unable to do anything about it. Changing the way I was reacting to my circumstances based on his advice was very, very impactful. I still had pain, but it wasn’t crushing my spirit anymore.
I discovered that a huge portion of my pain, tension and anxiety stemmed from eating gluten and corn. I don’t present classic food intolerance symptoms, so it took a lot of trial and error to figure this out.

After around a year of struggling through bad jobs (the only ones that I could get due to a long unemployment period), I’m now working a decent office job again and my pain has improved enough that I can at least work full time again without wanting to die.

It wasn’t an easy road, and I’m not sure I would have the fortitude to go through it again - definitely not without my dog to keep me motivated. Life isn’t grand, but I sorta get by. This is still way better than I was a few years ago, which I didn’t think was possible.

[–] j4k3 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I identify with this so much it hurts. What was the book by the back surgeon?

[–] PlasticExistence 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It has a terrible title, but it is an excellent and well-researched book. It’s applicable to far more than just back pain.

Back In Control by Dr David Hanscom. https://a.co/d/85gjHQ5

I also have back injuries. I blew out a disc in my lumbar spine and I have an artificial disc in my neck. Not as bad as your injuries (from what I’ve seen you write), but still painful. My neck hurt really bad even years after surgery and physical therapy. I think it was mostly emotional trauma and food intolerances reactivating old painful neural pathways. The book helped me deal with all that.