Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Most people want to, for lack of a better word, fuck other people. In offering details, they create a greater chance of maintaining the ability to do so. This is particularly relevant for trans folks, who have a smaller pool of partners to pull from. For comparison, see the practices of gay folks, particularly in the 50s when gay clubs were basically outlawed. It was incredibly difficult to find other gay people in a society that ostracized them and prevented their congregation, so gay relationships were rare. It’s perfectly natural to want to find companionship, or solitude if that’s your thing, so people spread the word about themselves to broaden their chances.
Phrased another way, there’s a reason it’s the third tier of maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Finding your place of belonging isn’t an identical process. Sometimes it’s taxing for not only yourself, but others as well. Personally, I wish I had the level of confidence of my trans friends are forced to maintain.
That's an interesting take. Declaring one's pronouns as a way to announce one's presence (or not) in a dating pool. Okay, but personally I doubt that's the main driver. After all, in the internet era, finding one's tribe is as easy as two taps on a screen. Gay guys can now have as much sex as they want without any third party even knowing, as you must be aware. I certainly am, indeed I speak from experience. So this phenomenon of needing to wear jargon and pronouns on one's sleeve, I think it has other causes, mainly.