this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by troglodytis to c/asklemmy
 

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[–] Squorlple 15 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Two possible scenarios:

  1. OP’s autocorrect wrote “returns” when they meant for the post to say “results”, in reference to the U.S. election

  2. OP knows that the rapture is happening tomorrow when the pious souls will return to Heaven

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I like the second scenario best tbh, even if it entails me burning in hell for the rest of eternity.

[–] Squorlple 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Don’t worry, the first scenario also could produce hell on earth for the rest of eternity as well

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I don't know. I've been enjoying the late decadence of western civilization, to be perfectly honest. It could get worse, sure, but can you imagine anything more boring than having our collective survival as a species guaranteed?

I can't.

[–] Arbiter 1 points 1 month ago

Sounds like an improvement.

[–] GuyDudeman 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's a difference between poll returns and election results. Returns are "as they happen" and get updated. Results are final.

[–] troglodytis 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thanks. I realized after the comment that the term has gone out of fashion

[–] GuyDudeman 2 points 1 month ago

Weird. Let’s bring it back!

[–] P00ptart 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Even if the rapture happens tomorrow, nothing changes.

"God" - "I started the rapture, why aren't there more people up here?"

St peter- "there weren't any believers that were qualified"

[–] betterdeadthanreddit 2 points 1 month ago

Take them anyway, I really don't want to be stuck with a bunch of rapture reject crybabies. Burn me in hell forever, see if I give a shit, but don't make me listen to them whine about it.