this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2024
346 points (89.0% liked)
196
16484 readers
3416 users here now
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
OK, serious talk for anyone under thirty who is really relating to this; you don't even know who you are before you hit your thirties.
I'm dead fucking serious here. Under twenty, you're basically still in the oven, and your twenties are basically spent figuring out who and what the fuck you are. Thirty is when the good shit starts. Thirty is when you start to finally have a grasp on who you are as a human being. Dating in your thirties is so much fucking better. You're past the idiocy and the drama and you're into the part where actual human adults learn to understand each other.
Please, please get out of this mindset that anyone over thirty is an ancient crone. You're not even out of the fucking tutorial yet.
But my 20s are my most handsome years and now they're over! In a paltry ten years I'll have some gray hairs and creases! 😭
tbh I kinda feel that. Maturity has its own kind of sexiness that I can appreciate, but that doesn't mean that I can't be bummed out about my early 20s soft femboi twink years having gone unappreciated.
You can always be bummed out about ageing. It's OK to mourn the loss of an identity that you'd grown into. I'm getting my first grey hairs in, and its not easy seeing that in the mirror. It brings a lot of complicated feelings. Humanity has spent our entire existence grappling with the finality of time.
But my wife? She loves those grey hairs. She thinks they make me look even sexier. Time is unrelenting, and brutal. But love doesn't care about time. Love, and joy, and friendship and kindness... These things will happen at every point in your life, if you let them.
Stan Rogers song 'Lies' is one I find really poetic and uplifting on this exact topic
As an East Coaster I am legally, morally and spiritually obligated to upvote Stan Rogers.
Yup, I didn’t find my wife until we were both in our 30’s, but we’re both happier than ever. Finding the right person takes time and probably a lot of rejection.
Out of all the high school sweethearts who got married young, I only know one couple who is still together and doesn’t hate each other.
Yeah, most of the people I know who got into relationships young ended up getting out of those relationships sooner or later. I can only think of one exception. But the relationships I see people building in their middle age are so much stronger and healthier.
Yup, we tell people they’re adults at 18, but the reality is that you do a lot of growing and maturing in your 20’s. I likely wouldn’t want to date any of my high school girlfriends if we met up again today, simply because we’re radically different people than we were in high school. And the same goes for college years as well; I likely wouldn’t want to date any of the people I dated in my early 20’s.
Almost 30 here, can relate. Still have no clue what the hell I am, what I really want to be myself and what and who I'd like to see around. Though as time goes, the less I really want or care to figure those out, so... Ughh.
Hell yes. Dating in my thirties has been 10x better than my dating attempts in my twenties. Not to mention with how the trend is moving with gen z’s dating/sex lives? For them dating in their thirties is going to be…like, their main dating life.
Could you elaborate please (I've been born into one of those youngsters I think)
Gen Z is having less sex than previous generations, but it’s also part of a larger trend. If I remember correctly they said the same thing about millennials, so it’s just the way things are moving. And with the dating scene these days, along with every single other aspect of our interpersonal lives (and capitalism shoving itself into every single type of interaction)? It’s not looking good for Gen alpha
https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-08-03/young-adults-less-sex-gen-z-millennials-generations-parents-grandparents
As somebody in my mid twenties, I primarily date people in their 30s for this exact reason. I need somebody mature with their shit a little more figured out. Dating people my own age can be fun, but they don't really have the maturity required to deal with somebody who's gone through as much trauma and mental illness as I have.
Case in point, my longest lasting relationship with somebody within 5 years of my age was 1 month long. My shortest lasting relationship with somebody older than me by more than that was 2 years.