this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 74 points 3 months ago (5 children)

If it's the uline jumbo rolls my work gets... Please don't.

Your asshole will thank me

[–] SpaceNoodle 63 points 3 months ago (6 children)

You just gotta keep using it until your anus naturally builds up callouses.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago

I rarely physically shudder from text

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I too try to only shit on company time

[–] blanketswithsmallpox 8 points 3 months ago

They're called union shits around here. Even if you're not in one lol.

Also combine shitty to with expensive bidet. Best of both worlds.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My wife keeps telling me that...

[–] ZoopZeZoop 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Why? What is she planning for your anus that requires callouses? You should inquire. That sounds suspicious!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Just know that she won't answer and I'm scared.

[–] ZoopZeZoop 1 points 3 months ago

Do you need us to call someone for you?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Sounds exciting!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

If you don't use a bidet, your butthole is already calloused. I learned this the first time I pooped in a normal toilet after getting my bidet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I think this is the worst thing I've ever read

[–] cryptiod137 10 points 3 months ago
[–] SpaceNoodle 2 points 3 months ago

Thank you, and you're welcome.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

What a terrible day to have eyes.

[–] waz 19 points 3 months ago

Is it the high gloss stuff, or the 80 grit option?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Does it flake like a French pastry?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I only wipe my ass with croissants to keep my cheeks buttery smooth

[–] Nfamwap 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm fairly certain those words have never been uttered in that order in the entirety of human history. Bravo.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

It's a terrible day for Canada, and therefore the world

[–] ZoopZeZoop 3 points 3 months ago

The toilet paper or his asscheeks?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

My old work ordered everything from uline, and I started bringing in my own TP specifically because of how awful it is to use that tissue paper.

Legitimately feels like tissue paper that people stuff gift bags with.

But at the same time, almost slippery.

And you WILL know if you creased the paper the wrong way, because it WILL stab at you with the force of ten thousand teeny tiny needles.

[–] BarbecueCowboy 7 points 3 months ago

Plus side, it's basically impossible to clog your toilet with that stuff. It's effectively pipe grease.