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The reality started to crumble in 4th grade. I had a history book that covered the "main" wars for the US. Chapters on WWI and WWII had sizable "causes for conflict" and those sections for Vietnam and Korea were much much smaller.
9/11 was just a few years after that moment for me. Seeing people around me laughing at the thought of "revenge" by bombing other people endlessly was a major crack. Farenheit 911 was the absolute "we're not the good guys" moment for me. My idea of patriotism shifted. I stopped believing that America was great, and started believing that America can be great, but it's gonna take a lot of work, work that half of my fellow Americans are unwilling to do.