this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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I've taken to deadpan saying, "I can't tell if you're joking or not."
Doesn't work well with strangers, but it works with people who know me and have some level of understanding of the whole thing.
I mean it only “works” in the sense of countering the awkwardness.
But sarcasm and subtle communication is an intentional risk. For one person to attempt risky communication (easy to misinterpret) and then for the other person to pick it up correctly deepens the bond between people.
That’s why we have sarcasm. It’s why we have subtle jokes. It’s a constant refinement of the communication channel via tighter and tighter tolerances being practiced.
When you say “I can’t tell if you’re joking” it’s great because it avoids the awkwardness, but the danger of awkwardness is the source of the benefit. So basically you’re saying “I’m not up for an adventure right now”. Which is “safe” in the short term, but it stunts the growth of the relationship.
Autist to autist, my recommendation is to go out on a limb more often and take a chance with committing to one interpretation. It’s a risk-reward thing.