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Ex-Incels, how did you dig yourself out? (poptalk.scrubbles.tech)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

145 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm an ex incel myself, but I've been seeing a few users here exhibiting the tell tale signs. "I'm not attractive enough", "I don't socialize correctly", "I'll never find a woman" - all extremely unhealthy attitudes.

Personally I burned through many friendships and ruined a lot of chances with women because I was in the incel community. The community warped my view of women so much that I made it even harder to meet women, I became my own worst enemy. I lost friends because all I could think of was how horrible it was that they had girlfriends.

I have a friend who helped me out of it. She was the one who started calling out my bad behavior for what it was, and I started on the long uphill path out of it. I'm now married and stable for well over a decade, but I still think back to those days, and it depresses me seeing other people causing this themselves and not being aware of it.

So, Lemmy, for those who have clawed out of it, what's your story?

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[–] naught101 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

She wouldn't have done it on the outcome of a coinflip if she wasn't at least partly interested.

[–] Ibaudia 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

She had a crush on two guys, I was one of them lol. The coin flip was to determine who to ask out. You're right though!

[–] naught101 1 points 4 months ago

Ah, right. In a way that's even better - you were stacking up comparably against competition.